🌀
summer is my favorite season, and it also contains so much grief and memory. my older brother died 9 years ago on july 9. i continually grieve all the people i wish he could’ve met. i wish he could’ve seen me come out, build my life, try new Taco Bell items together.
i wanted to invite anyone who feels like it to share something about someone you love and grieve. i love hearing about them!
this is Sawyer and he loved motorcycles, Mythbusters, and movies.
1d ago
Related Recs
It's been a week since my brother Jacob passed. He was the last person I expected to go—an extremely active cyclist, hiker, and traveler. We still don't know what exactly happened, but in a matter of only half an hour he went from making his breakfast to his heart stoping.
So many of his traits I admired so much felt like things I lacked; he was disciplined, reliable, and energetic. He traveled the world and made friends across the whole globe, it seems. He was always adept at math, a subject I always struggled with.
He was only 18 months my junior. I literally can't remember my life without Jacob in it. At some points in our childhood he felt like my shadow. Since we were homeschooled during the early years of my life we spent so much time together. I took that for granted, but now I'm so grateful for all the hours of fort building, hole digging, camping, biking, basketball, getting destroyed by him playing NBA Live and womping on him in Mortal Kombat.
I really regret simply assuming he knew how much I loved him. We were brothers. We fought, argued, and teased each-other. He was such an appendage to my day-to-day that I didn't ever stop to tell him how dear he was to me, how proud I was of all he'd done, how grateful I was for all he contributed around the house and with the family, and how jealous I was of his fearlessness with change and travel.
People ask how I'm holding up, and it's hard to answer because—all things considered— I am doing alright. The hardest times are when my brain and nervous system still haven't realized he's gone: hearing the creak of a door and expecting him to walk in after a bike ride—his cycling shoes clinking on the tile; learning some soccer news and wanting to text him about it; feeling eager to get his feedback on something I cooked.
But the most difficult thing has been encountering the pity and sorrow people have shown toward me, because that somehow reveals the scope of the loss and the depth to which folks cared about him and care about me. Knowing we share some impacts of this loss breaks my heart. I so deeply appreciate all the offers of help and reaching out, and yet I have nothing to offer. I have nothing for which to ask. My brain just short-circuits.
Perhaps the best thing you can do for me is to let your loved ones know how you feel. Find one person you have maybe taken for granted and share your love clearly so that they truly know how much you treasure them because they won't always be around.
May 6, 2024
🎈
today is my brother’s 33rd birthday. he passed away in september. i know this seems like a strange thing to recommend, but for me, today has felt good. i think about him every single day but i’ve felt especially connected with him today; i keep seeing pieces of him everywhere (moreso than i usually do). i think grief is long and hard but also beautiful, as it’s a reminder you loved so deeply it cannot be stopped even by the immovable force that is death. i miss him a lot, but i’m continually comforted by the fact that a day will not go by that we don’t talk about him. he will always be alive
everyone here loves him, especially me.
Jun 4, 2025
my mom passed away last year, and today would have been her 54th birthday
so, i grabbed ice cream and i took it to the river. my mom and i used to get ice cream and eat it by the river a lot. my mom loved ice cream. chocolate ice cream. and she loved rivers. i also love rivers. they remind me of my mom.
grieving is hard. and it’s hard every single day. but taking moments like this — to do things that my mom and i loved to do together — reminds me of how grief is just love with nowhere to go.
today i’m basking in the love that my mom had for me, the love she had for ice cream, for rivers. and i’m sitting in how much i love her. a love that feels trapped inside me. buried. most days it feels like anger and despair and regret. but today i’m focusing on the love. how lucky i was to have a mom who made loving her so easy!
happy birthday, mom. i love you immensely
Feb 7, 2025
Top Recs from @bigstrongguy
celebrated the first day of pride by moving in with my lesbian lover :-) i’m overjoyed!!!! happy pride, everyone 🧡
Jun 2, 2025
🍑
carnal delight!
Jun 18, 2025
Mar 9, 2025