because then you can see things from a different vantage point. you can actually enhance your empathy. sure, you'll hurt yourself or others, but in the end, you've enabled yourself to help more people simply by merit of your existence. some people identify as protectors. i am not one. but i know i can at least protect myself. i'm by no means a proponent of crashing out violent style, but i believe growth requires the shedding of dead cells.
Related Recs
i have never realized how insane i could become when i’m triggered, i’m glad for everything i went through and i love that i’m taking things as if they’re happening for me not to me so i know what parts of me needs more work. STEP OUT OF THE VICTIM’S MENTALITY
Mar 25, 2025
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i could never understand why i lacked the tools to distance myself from people who hurt me and kept hurting me. i’d always go back, i’d always “forgive,” and i’d always fawn (try and be better because it’s obviously my fault i wasn’t perfect, duh.) .
there has been a recent shift in my life where i will feel physically angry when i’m subjected to mistreatment. sometimes i’ll put it aside in favor of my fears but sometimes i feel it and let it be.. and when i do, i find i have the power to uphold simple boundaries that protect me from the mistreatment. it’s the darndest thing (would you believe it if i said i’m black?)
Apr 24, 2024
If you have strong checkpoints yet find yourself being run over by narcs. It's worth doing a post-op learning and understanding why. I practically live on homework!
Found this Reddit post really helpful:
"A couple things.
Obviously tune up your radar so you can spot them early on, and be ruthless about boundaries including summary termination of the relationship without notice, announcement, or explanation other than perhaps to hold them expressly responsible. E.g., your behavior X isn't consistent with my values.
Almost as obviously, don't judge prematurely, give others the benefit of the doubt, recognize your own triggers and the substantial prospect of misunderstanding, figure out ways to get someone to explain themselves ("I don't understand" and "what?" go a long way), and be clear and express with your boundaries if only to give the person an opportunity to apologize (they will, or they'll justify / explain / deny but either way, they'll reveal themselves). Also recognize that people sometimes just put their foot in their mouth (not that I ever have, of course) and forgiveness is a virtue.
Importantly, don't go out into the world saying you can't trust any more. That embraces and perpetuates the role and identity of victim and perpetuates your prior tormentors' influence over your psyche.
Better instead to reject and, indeed, defy that influence expressly and with purpose. Think of oneself as an empowered adult free to associate, or not, with whomever you choose, in your own terms, without apology or justification, responsible for yourself, your decisions, and self view, and who is a keen judge of character borne of experience and insight.
Living well is the best revenge, they say."
Sep 3, 2024
Top Recs from @therealangiemeyers
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You don't even have to drink. Just go where people drink. Sing, dance, flirt and odds are you'll end up with free ketamine.
Jan 26, 2025
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my dad built a rickety ass treehouse in our front yard. it had no walls; only a flimsy railing and a tarp for a roof. my brothers and i would go up there to figure out our next move. it's openness made it a perfect transitory hub in the summer. occasionally one of my brothers would throw water balloons on me from it. naturally as we got older, it was neglected. then on some thanksgiving my brothers asked if i wanted to smoke weed in the tree house. we did. it was a moment i don't think i could live without.
6d ago
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Well, I personally have not leveled up in this regard, but many of the dolls in my circle have undergone rigorous cuntification. What I've observed mainly is that a lot of people are secretly slouching and don't smile enough. Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, and smile at people even if you have no inherent reason to. Sounds too simple but I've seen it work wonders.
Jan 26, 2025