Nostalgia is so powerful. And so painful.
I’ve made Pinterest boards filled with hundreds of memories and toys and things that shaped my childhood. I’ve made playlists that include only songs that make me feel 6 years old again. I’ve watched movies that bring me the same wonder they did as when I watched them as a child.
But nothing will ever truly bring me back there. It’s gone forever. to know that I will never walk the halls of my elementary school building, or try and plant an apple seed in between the slides of the playground, or play tag with my best buddies ever again is something unbearable. life is so short. I miss it all of the time.
Adulthood has its perks as well. I never have to ask to go sleep over at a friends house and get told no. I can eat what i want. I can get a kitten if I feel like it. But I miss the simplicity and happiness of being a child. I miss just existing and being okay with that. i miss how I felt when I was 6, but I have to accept that I must leave that behind.
Maybe reincarnation is real. Maybe I will live through something like this life again?
There is an ache knowing I will never walk the same tiny footsteps as I once did. But alas, I’ll be 19 years from where I’m at now and miss this age just as much as I do then. The ache will take a new shape. And i will continue living on.