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i don’t hate being myself, i just don’t know how to act normal in front of other ppl i don’t know. like should i be honest and be myself in front of u and risk weirding u out, or should i do the weird masking thing where i pretend igaf about the weather and we go our separate ways and never talk again. and i wish i were slightly weirder and brave so ppl could look at me as a side character, like their own personal Kramer to their main character plot. but a part of me still wants to fit in a little. i can never commit to either side

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We tend to mask ourselves in order to make others comfortable and fit in. Just be weird and shit, who cares…
Feb 22, 2024
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it makes things so much easier? to just be myself??? I LOVE BEING A REAL PERSON!
i am so much more okay with people not liking me for my innate being than not liking the fake persona i have created.
a fake personality is somewhat like a piece of art. it hurts when someone criticizes your child. your creation.
you can hurt me tho! it’s alright
something to unpack in the future perhaps..
perfectly imperfect :)
Mar 2, 2025
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i struggle with this in my day to day life. i mostly exist feeling the world around me through a translucent shelter. this feeling is another me, in a way. they seek to deflect reality from me to some degree, for my own sake. they always know what they should say and when they should say it. they know when silence is appropriate. but, they can only speak for me. and i for them. we are one, but we’ve grown used to operating as a pair all too well. i allow them to guide me through 80% of my life because operating Me is exhausting. mfw im forced to exist in present day america as someone who is probably autistic, probably a trans girl, and probably won’t be certain of either for years to come dadadadada whatever u get it. all that to say this is me practicing being radically honest. so fuck what y’all think (<3) bc i’m real. which brings me to my final point. regardless of whether u want to be me (or anyone else), you can’t. you’re you. and you’re just as real, so fuck what i think (<3).
-fae out 🖕💞
~/~ number of times i hit backspace :3000
May 3, 2025

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