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I kept diving into Grindr, hoping to spot my ex’s ghost. 
I deleted the app for the 7th time this week and feel purified once again.
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I deleted my dating apps!!! Even raya!! I am 2 weeks clean. I recommend deleting your dating apps too!! they’re evil 😈 let’s go back to meeting irl. Thank you!
Apr 11, 2024
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it’s the closest thing i’ve ever gotten to experience deleting and redownloading dating apps. great measurement/lowest bar/last resort that somehow works for declining mental states
Sep 21, 2024

Top Recs from @sa______ul

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I first heard Combat Baby from this very album in my late teens — it carried a weight of melancholy that pulled me in from the sadness itself. That urge to dance even when your heart is hanging by the last thread. I stumbled back into it this week.
Listening to it now, I recognize it as a defining reference in my own sound. The use of piano and other keys alongside raw, unprocessed synths puts all the weight on the harmony — a harmony that forces me to leave behind that old world underground. You won’t find it anymore.
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“I am in the world, I am of the world, I act within the world. I am in myself, of myself, I act through myself. Separate and united all at once, a tiny cog in a cosmic machine, I collaborate, I receive and give, I absorb and distribute. My nakedness is total: no principle guides me, no law but nature’s.
If I say ‘I am,’ it is because, in the infinite multiplicity of beings and things, I have found my place — in the world and in myself; it is one and the same. I no longer need to search. I hold no image of myself. I am where I belong. Here, and everywhere, willingly bound.
I dwell in every speck of dust, every territory, every river’s path, every star, every part of my body. And how could I not respect the world, my bones and flesh? None of this matter is mine — it was lent to me, only for a fragment of time. And I revere it, for it is my temple, the temple where the unthinkable God resides. Spirit is matter, and matter is spirit. The universe is constantly birthing and bursting, and at its center, where I kneel, I am.
When I say ‘I am there,’ I mean ‘within that’ which sustains all life — the endless source of energy flowing through my mind, heart, and sex. Energies of sublime purity emerge from me, cleansing the world. I return fragrance to the air, sweetness to the river, fertility to the earth, and life to all oceans. There is no place in the cosmos where I am absent.
In every instant, I remain in the present. Neither past nor future binds me. No regrets, no plans. Constant, loyal to my place, I receive and I give. And when I say ‘I belong to the world and to myself,’ it means I give myself fully, uprooting even the darkest seed of judgment. I do not judge. I love, and I serve.
I do not separate, not even by a hair’s breadth. I belong — which means I venerate, I obey. That is why I am naked: naked like a tree, a bird, or a cloud. I am of my body, my flesh, and my blood. Being, I cannot abandon or be abandoned by myself. How could I not love what so lovingly possesses me?
As I give myself to the earth, I give myself to my flesh and bones. As I trust the oceans, I trust my blood. As I yield to the air, I yield to my skin. As I surrender to the stars, I surrender to my hair. And full of this love — love of a slave, radiant — I act upon the world and upon myself.
To act is to flow with the world: clearing obstacles, transmitting energy from beyond the stars. I enrich, I purify, I nourish, I understand, I cleanse. I act upon myself too: I open to all infinities, letting the breath of the gods pass through every pore of my blood. I allow all mysteries to pass through me. And in the center of my now-infinite womb, I receive — and birth — the totality of light.”
Alejandro Jodorowsky
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Brian Eno created these cards with Peter Schmidt as creative lifelines. The idea is to draw one at random whenever you’re feeling blocked, to help move the work forward.
I always remember to use them a bit late — but eventually, I do.
Here’s the link to the website where you can draw a random card and keep going.