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š§āš»
makes me feel happy š¤·
i realised i stop myself from enjoying things a lot just because i think theyāre too childish.
likeā¦ yeah. maybe itās not exactly mature to spend an hour in a toy store looking for colourful, moving, fluffy, squishy things. but it makes me feel more alive than a vacation, concert or netflix ever hasā¦
same with writing like iām falling asleep on a keyboard while decorating articles with glittery symbols.
letting myself be against seriousness. against non-ironical snobism. against algorithm-polished aesthetics. letting myself be as ugly and uncomfortable as i am. itās fine. i need it.
i realised i stop myself from enjoying things a lot just because i think theyāre too childish.
likeā¦ yeah. maybe itās not exactly mature to spend an hour in a toy store looking for colourful, moving, fluffy, squishy things. but it makes me feel more alive than a vacation, concert or netflix ever hasā¦
same with writing like iām falling asleep on a keyboard while decorating articles with glittery symbols.
letting myself be against seriousness. against non-ironical snobism. against algorithm-polished aesthetics. letting myself be as ugly and uncomfortable as i am. itās fine. i need it.
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š”2am thoughts so donāt mind me but as u can see iāve been ruminating on reading and writing a lot as of late. iām happy trying to make a name for myself as a visual artist but iāve always joked in another life i was a novelist or poetā¦
iāve still been posting on my poetry substack and that took the edge off but i realize i need more. i cringed at my old wattpad earlier in the week. i looked over my google docs of a story i wanted to write in college then abandoned bc i lost hope and steam.
i'm not getting any younger so i'm just gonna commit. i have two little fiction things that i've been toying around with for years that iāve decided i'm going to take more seriously. who knows if ill do anything with themā¦i used to put too much pressure on myself when it came to fictional endeavors anyway. i just need an outlet. my brain and heart might just burst.
iāve still been posting on my poetry substack and that took the edge off but i realize i need more. i cringed at my old wattpad earlier in the week. i looked over my google docs of a story i wanted to write in college then abandoned bc i lost hope and steam.
i'm not getting any younger so i'm just gonna commit. i have two little fiction things that i've been toying around with for years that iāve decided i'm going to take more seriously. who knows if ill do anything with themā¦i used to put too much pressure on myself when it came to fictional endeavors anyway. i just need an outlet. my brain and heart might just burst.
Jun 18, 2025
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š«µA reminder for myselfāļø that writing a little every day makes me feel fulfilled and Real
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ši donāt think iām very good at it, but itās only for me! so who cares!! itās fun to make my world :)
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I think that attention is the key to authenticity and, by extension, to creative empowerment ā not the curation of content, but rather the way you approach any experience.
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šŖiām in love with new BIG table
still anxious tho ā¦
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