love isnât about dependency, but about intention. choosing them not only for yourself but for them as well is love. especially when life is shit which is pretty often. love should be deliberate, not convenient.
Iâm not a poet, so here are some people that put it into much better words: âTo fall in love is to create a religion with a fallible godâ Jorge luis borges âFalling in love is like being hauntedââ Han Kang âLove is as love dies. Love is an act of willâ namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to.â âErich fromm
A pattern I have been noticing in recent years is many things in modern culture (especially the States) considered abstract, ethereal or emotional concepts are actually verbs. They are actions and behaviors we need to choose. Emotions well up from those choices. marianoleonczik illustrates this well with his rec. As does taterhole with her rec. Both zero in on this intentionality. Love is a choice. It is something you do. Even when you don't feel it. Romance is a choice. It is something you choose with someone. You cultivate it together.
If you love someone or something, you need to act LOVING. If you arenât consistently loving in relationships at best theyâll go stale, at worst there will be mistreatment. That includes the relationship with yourself. Most importantly, if someone says they love you but treat you like garbage, they donât. Be loving to yourself and leave. Incorporating this frame of mind into your thoughts and actions is life changing.
