why is talking to people who i want to be friends with so stressful?? i saw this guy today who volunteers at the radio station i volunteer at, and who i’ve seen play with his band a few shows, and is friends with my friends, but has no idea who i am. i stood off to the side for ten minutes trying to work up the courage to say hello, sweating, getting a stomach ache, itchy, blushing. in the end i just left without saying anything. why is it so hard!
I GREW UP WITH REALLY BAD ANXIETY, SO NOW I SEEK OUT AWKWARDNESS AS A SORT OF EXPOSURE THERAPY FOR MYSELF. I FULL SEND INTO CONVERSATIONS BEING COMPLETELY MYSELF NO MATTER THE FEAR I HAVE OF WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK OF ME. TURNS OUT THAT MOST OF THE TIME IT GOES PRETTY WELL, AND IF ITS AWKWARD I CAN HANDLE IT NOW. :)
Sometimes I get into this mode where I just talk talk talk and over share because I’m anxious and tbh it’s the only time when I’m completely honest because my crippling social anxiety kicks in and I feel like I’ll be exposed if I’m not speaking truthfully.
