i knew that i was starting to feel old when i saw the 2010s being romanticized š but getting older makes me feel so wise. i feel like i hav a lot more lore to share with others and more inclined to listen to people older than me when they narrate their lives. being off my phone a lot more now i think contributes to it a lot -- i def feel super out of the loop when it comes to slang and things that are trending now. one of my friends asked me what type of vibe she should wear for a concert and i was jus like "ur clothes? idk". i feel old even around people my own age when i'm talking about music and they haven't heard of some artist that i thought a lot of people listened to. i met this guy (23) who had never heard of deftones before and it fucking baffled me ??
i just feel like me. i felt old when i was like 22-24 but now at 27 iām just like wow i havenāt been alive that long and actual old people just see me as a 20-something. also like yeah while i guess you get more mature with more life experience, your brain still feels the same somehow (maybe bc maturity isnāt linear or a truly measurable metric). i get why people begin to lose touch with things as they get older not bc theyāre too old to understand but itās like what use do i have knowing what cultural signifiers will get me approval from a 10, 15 or even 20 year old? i donāt even care what my peers think. i used to have an obsession with mustaches and bacon in middle school and said shit like ārawr means i love you in dinosaur xDā like i have no place judging the new stuff that the kids are saying today.
iām almost 23 and tbh i feel younger now than i did when i was 20-21. itās def a weird feeling to have like what the kids are up to not really include me anymore but i feel like as i get older i donāt care as much. also i think at this point iām much more surrounded by people who are my age or older than me instead of my age or younger like i was when i was in high school or college, and i realize just how much of my life (and my YOUNG life) i have ahead of me. i think itās much cooler to be a little bit out of the loop or a little cringe but have a stronger sense of self than to be completely tapped in but be 15 lol.
maybe my back always in pain and my shoulders being scrunched up from chronic stress. maybe i do feel old a little bit. i already stopped using tiktok a few years ago and im taking a break from instagram which leaves me even more out of the loop. itās been a few days and my friend is showing me or referencing stuff that i donāt getš working in retail aswell i encountered babies, preteens and teenagers. all the young wans.
itās all the same stupid shite going around when i was their age but just yk random keywords shook around in a box and picked randomly to be said for the next few weeks until the next trend. in short. i feel old but ive come to the acceptance that i donāt need to be on top of every single trend or whatever is being shoved in our faces. maybe iāll fall for it every now and then.
āmen are constantly performing for other menā
āevery man is a combination of all the cool traits he stole from all the cool women in his lifeā
āhe has no lore without meā
āhis music taste is nothing without mineā
āhis new bitch is choppedā
āeverytime i breathe my life goes x10 better than hisā