I believe in opacity. "The inner voice of the poet protects the poet," something in the first page of Teeter by Kimberly Alidio. As a Buddhist I think that allowing a life to proceed without intervention protects the vitality of living, though as a Buddhist I also believe in contradiction. Here it's that my interventions to life proceeding is also a way of allowing life to proceed. I need to believe in sincerity as much as I believe in opacity. Which is to say, I need to believe in my interventions. My belief in opacity has dulled, and I'm not in a place to articulate its convictions anymore. I used to be softer! My wisdom was to let things happen while I let myself happen. When my life hardened I leaned into my opaque-shaded beliefs..maybe it protected me. I'm working up to opening my sensitivity to intervention, and I need to reopen myself up to my life to do it. & to do that, I need to be open with it too (via microblogging I guess).
