Nymphet Alumni
🍷
Growing up, I heard a lot about the famous Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookies, kind of like when you’re a kid and people are always talking about acid rain, quick sand and piranhas so you think it’s statistically inevitable that you’ll run into them. To that point, I’ve still never had a cookie from Neiman’s, but I do hope they’re still churning them out. I have, however, had a rotisserie chicken at Harrods. There’s something that feels so vintage about eating in a luxury department store, it’s one of the most ladies-who-lunchiest things you can do nowadays. It’s instant glamor for the whittled soul. Having a drink is also fun—loosens up the shopping experience, liquid ease if you’re the sort to feel anxious when looking at things you can’t afford. Time definitely moves differently in these places, too—it’s all a bit ‘island of the lotus eaters.’ If you’re in London, the rotisserie restaurant in Harrods is good, dark, and savory and the wine bar at the bottom of Fortnum and Mason is a nice place to pass the time (also recommend the lemon and vanilla marmalade from the floor above).
Mar 27, 2023
🍷
Growing up, I heard a lot about the famous Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookies, kind of like when you’re a kid and people are always talking about acid rain, quick sand and piranhas so you think it’s statistically inevitable that you’ll run into them. To that point, I’ve still never had a cookie from Neiman’s, but I do hope they’re still churning them out. I have, however, had a rotisserie chicken at Harrods. There’s something that feels so vintage about eating in a luxury department store, it’s one of the most ladies-who-lunchiest things you can do nowadays. It’s instant glamor for the whittled soul. Having a drink is also fun—loosens up the shopping experience, liquid ease if you’re the sort to feel anxious when looking at things you can’t afford. Time definitely moves differently in these places, too—it’s all a bit ‘island of the lotus eaters.’ If you’re in London, the rotisserie restaurant in Harrods is good, dark, and savory and the wine bar at the bottom of Fortnum and Mason is a nice place to pass the time (also recommend the lemon and vanilla marmalade from the floor above).
Mar 27, 2023
🍷
Growing up, I heard a lot about the famous Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookies, kind of like when you’re a kid and people are always talking about acid rain, quick sand and piranhas so you think it’s statistically inevitable that you’ll run into them. To that point, I’ve still never had a cookie from Neiman’s, but I do hope they’re still churning them out. I have, however, had a rotisserie chicken at Harrods. There’s something that feels so vintage about eating in a luxury department store, it’s one of the most ladies-who-lunchiest things you can do nowadays. It’s instant glamor for the whittled soul. Having a drink is also fun—loosens up the shopping experience, liquid ease if you’re the sort to feel anxious when looking at things you can’t afford. Time definitely moves differently in these places, too—it’s all a bit ‘island of the lotus eaters.’ If you’re in London, the rotisserie restaurant in Harrods is good, dark, and savory and the wine bar at the bottom of Fortnum and Mason is a nice place to pass the time (also recommend the lemon and vanilla marmalade from the floor above).
Mar 27, 2023
🎀
Taking care of yourself can feel hideously step-by-step now… scientific and ingredient-laden. Brushing your hair still feels whimsical and wild! It’s genuinely a therapeutic process for me, I think because I have a lot of hair and untangling it sometimes requires brute force and since there is a clear before and after to behold, it always makes me feel better if I’m feeling low. There’s a lot of propaganda around messy hair (Chloe S., French women), but life is about getting to know yourself. So if you’re feeling burnt out on cold little serums and vials of goo (all love though) or are tired of letting the rats' nests rule, try brushing your hair more. Caveat that you need to find the hair brush that works for you—doesn’t have to be made of boar bristles and mother of pearl,I like the OG brush from Olivia Garden over at Ulta.
Mar 27, 2023
🎀
Taking care of yourself can feel hideously step-by-step now… scientific and ingredient-laden. Brushing your hair still feels whimsical and wild! It’s genuinely a therapeutic process for me, I think because I have a lot of hair and untangling it sometimes requires brute force and since there is a clear before and after to behold, it always makes me feel better if I’m feeling low. There’s a lot of propaganda around messy hair (Chloe S., French women), but life is about getting to know yourself. So if you’re feeling burnt out on cold little serums and vials of goo (all love though) or are tired of letting the rats' nests rule, try brushing your hair more. Caveat that you need to find the hair brush that works for you—doesn’t have to be made of boar bristles and mother of pearl,I like the OG brush from Olivia Garden over at Ulta.
Mar 27, 2023
🎀
Taking care of yourself can feel hideously step-by-step now… scientific and ingredient-laden. Brushing your hair still feels whimsical and wild! It’s genuinely a therapeutic process for me, I think because I have a lot of hair and untangling it sometimes requires brute force and since there is a clear before and after to behold, it always makes me feel better if I’m feeling low. There’s a lot of propaganda around messy hair (Chloe S., French women), but life is about getting to know yourself. So if you’re feeling burnt out on cold little serums and vials of goo (all love though) or are tired of letting the rats' nests rule, try brushing your hair more. Caveat that you need to find the hair brush that works for you—doesn’t have to be made of boar bristles and mother of pearl,I like the OG brush from Olivia Garden over at Ulta.
Mar 27, 2023
🪙
Around a year ago, I developed a craving for jingling and jangling as I move, so I started passively looking for the type of jewelry that would do this. From there, I set my sights on the necklaces and bracelets made of coins. I find coin jewelry charming and a bit cheesy, the cruise ship equivalent of spoons bent and soldered into rings. I recently picked one up from a very old man selling antiques on Portobello road and have worn it since. It feels a bit bohemian, even the coins around my neck are not (being old American or British currency, I have not looked hard enough to be sure). Because it fits tight around the neck, the coins neither jingle nor jangle when I move, but there is a phantom clanging that does the job.
Mar 27, 2023
🪙
Around a year ago, I developed a craving for jingling and jangling as I move, so I started passively looking for the type of jewelry that would do this. From there, I set my sights on the necklaces and bracelets made of coins. I find coin jewelry charming and a bit cheesy, the cruise ship equivalent of spoons bent and soldered into rings. I recently picked one up from a very old man selling antiques on Portobello road and have worn it since. It feels a bit bohemian, even the coins around my neck are not (being old American or British currency, I have not looked hard enough to be sure). Because it fits tight around the neck, the coins neither jingle nor jangle when I move, but there is a phantom clanging that does the job.
Mar 27, 2023
🪙
Around a year ago, I developed a craving for jingling and jangling as I move, so I started passively looking for the type of jewelry that would do this. From there, I set my sights on the necklaces and bracelets made of coins. I find coin jewelry charming and a bit cheesy, the cruise ship equivalent of spoons bent and soldered into rings. I recently picked one up from a very old man selling antiques on Portobello road and have worn it since. It feels a bit bohemian, even the coins around my neck are not (being old American or British currency, I have not looked hard enough to be sure). Because it fits tight around the neck, the coins neither jingle nor jangle when I move, but there is a phantom clanging that does the job.
Mar 27, 2023
☕️
It’s that time of year where everyone is seasonally depressed (and talking about it). The sun starts setting before you’re even hungry for an afternoon snack and it’s too cold to waste away in the park. I agree that having to leave the office far past sundown is perverted, but gloom is actually good if you just give it a chance. Like how did Kate Bush end up back at the top of the charts and we’re all still saying dreadful things about gray skies (Wuthering Heights and all that)? You can lay in bed and read a book, or go on a walk and feel your face get cold, louse around a coffee shop, get a drink in a hotel lobby. Lean into it and think about yourself as a woman who lives near a windy cliff (non-suicidally)—see if you are suited to brooding or Caspar David Friedrich-type tranquility. There is also something so romantic about trotting around in the cold with someone and then de-bundling together, though, in general I’m a proponent of extreme weather dating in either direction, i.e., holding hands and slipping in the snow, sweating from your face on the subway platform.
Mar 27, 2023
☕️
It’s that time of year where everyone is seasonally depressed (and talking about it). The sun starts setting before you’re even hungry for an afternoon snack and it’s too cold to waste away in the park. I agree that having to leave the office far past sundown is perverted, but gloom is actually good if you just give it a chance. Like how did Kate Bush end up back at the top of the charts and we’re all still saying dreadful things about gray skies (Wuthering Heights and all that)? You can lay in bed and read a book, or go on a walk and feel your face get cold, louse around a coffee shop, get a drink in a hotel lobby. Lean into it and think about yourself as a woman who lives near a windy cliff (non-suicidally)—see if you are suited to brooding or Caspar David Friedrich-type tranquility. There is also something so romantic about trotting around in the cold with someone and then de-bundling together, though, in general I’m a proponent of extreme weather dating in either direction, i.e., holding hands and slipping in the snow, sweating from your face on the subway platform.
Mar 27, 2023
☕️
It’s that time of year where everyone is seasonally depressed (and talking about it). The sun starts setting before you’re even hungry for an afternoon snack and it’s too cold to waste away in the park. I agree that having to leave the office far past sundown is perverted, but gloom is actually good if you just give it a chance. Like how did Kate Bush end up back at the top of the charts and we’re all still saying dreadful things about gray skies (Wuthering Heights and all that)? You can lay in bed and read a book, or go on a walk and feel your face get cold, louse around a coffee shop, get a drink in a hotel lobby. Lean into it and think about yourself as a woman who lives near a windy cliff (non-suicidally)—see if you are suited to brooding or Caspar David Friedrich-type tranquility. There is also something so romantic about trotting around in the cold with someone and then de-bundling together, though, in general I’m a proponent of extreme weather dating in either direction, i.e., holding hands and slipping in the snow, sweating from your face on the subway platform.
Mar 27, 2023
🍝
Bar Italia is a classic spot in the Soho neighborhood of London. The best for people watching and generally feeling like you’re in it. The patronage is diverse: bikers, tweedy intellectual families, Italians, women in white skinny jeans sitting on mens laps. Getting a table outside at night on a weekend can be difficult, but it is worth stalking the movements of whoever looks like they’re on their last sip of cappuccino. I’m not sure exactly what the history is, but you can just tell there’s history, which is a special thing in its own.
Mar 27, 2023
🍝
Bar Italia is a classic spot in the Soho neighborhood of London. The best for people watching and generally feeling like you’re in it. The patronage is diverse: bikers, tweedy intellectual families, Italians, women in white skinny jeans sitting on mens laps. Getting a table outside at night on a weekend can be difficult, but it is worth stalking the movements of whoever looks like they’re on their last sip of cappuccino. I’m not sure exactly what the history is, but you can just tell there’s history, which is a special thing in its own.
Mar 27, 2023
🍝
Bar Italia is a classic spot in the Soho neighborhood of London. The best for people watching and generally feeling like you’re in it. The patronage is diverse: bikers, tweedy intellectual families, Italians, women in white skinny jeans sitting on mens laps. Getting a table outside at night on a weekend can be difficult, but it is worth stalking the movements of whoever looks like they’re on their last sip of cappuccino. I’m not sure exactly what the history is, but you can just tell there’s history, which is a special thing in its own.
Mar 27, 2023
🏠
The Secret History of Home Economics by Danielle Dreilinger is a fantastic book which makes a compelling argument for the revival of home economics (or “family and consumer sciences” as it was later called in a flop rebranding attempt). I now feel very passionate about improving home life through art and science, and thus improving society. I had a lot of fun taking these archived home economics high school exams from the 1950s and 60s, which really give you a sense of how the field encompassed so many areas of expertise: fashion and interior design, medicine, child psychology, chemistry, etiquette, and more. From identifying period furniture styles to caring for a bedridden person, the test questions are a good measure for general well-roundedness and can be an entertaining group activity for a dinner party or pregame.
Mar 27, 2023
🏠
The Secret History of Home Economics by Danielle Dreilinger is a fantastic book which makes a compelling argument for the revival of home economics (or “family and consumer sciences” as it was later called in a flop rebranding attempt). I now feel very passionate about improving home life through art and science, and thus improving society. I had a lot of fun taking these archived home economics high school exams from the 1950s and 60s, which really give you a sense of how the field encompassed so many areas of expertise: fashion and interior design, medicine, child psychology, chemistry, etiquette, and more. From identifying period furniture styles to caring for a bedridden person, the test questions are a good measure for general well-roundedness and can be an entertaining group activity for a dinner party or pregame.
Mar 27, 2023
🏠
The Secret History of Home Economics by Danielle Dreilinger is a fantastic book which makes a compelling argument for the revival of home economics (or “family and consumer sciences” as it was later called in a flop rebranding attempt). I now feel very passionate about improving home life through art and science, and thus improving society. I had a lot of fun taking these archived home economics high school exams from the 1950s and 60s, which really give you a sense of how the field encompassed so many areas of expertise: fashion and interior design, medicine, child psychology, chemistry, etiquette, and more. From identifying period furniture styles to caring for a bedridden person, the test questions are a good measure for general well-roundedness and can be an entertaining group activity for a dinner party or pregame.
Mar 27, 2023
🇰🇷
I’ve been a diehard K-pop stan since 2018, and even starred in an MTV documentary in 2020 about my experience. Getting others to understand this part of me has been a struggle at times, but I’ve learned that the greatest weapon in my arsenal is the stage mix, a type of fanmade video that compiles multiple live broadcast performances of one song (“comeback stages”) into one seamless and dazzling spectacle. As opposed to music videos, which can sometimes freak people out with their hyperreal overproduction, stage mixes actually convey the energy that makes K-pop so addictive: the passionate chanting of the audience, the (questionably) live vocals, the unmatched professionalism and synergy, the intense eye contact. You get a comprehensive picture of the group’s stage presence and visual identity; it also helps that the trippy match-cut transitions have a very hypnotizing effect. These should be viewed in the highest resolution possible.
Mar 27, 2023
🇰🇷
I’ve been a diehard K-pop stan since 2018, and even starred in an MTV documentary in 2020 about my experience. Getting others to understand this part of me has been a struggle at times, but I’ve learned that the greatest weapon in my arsenal is the stage mix, a type of fanmade video that compiles multiple live broadcast performances of one song (“comeback stages”) into one seamless and dazzling spectacle. As opposed to music videos, which can sometimes freak people out with their hyperreal overproduction, stage mixes actually convey the energy that makes K-pop so addictive: the passionate chanting of the audience, the (questionably) live vocals, the unmatched professionalism and synergy, the intense eye contact. You get a comprehensive picture of the group’s stage presence and visual identity; it also helps that the trippy match-cut transitions have a very hypnotizing effect. These should be viewed in the highest resolution possible.
Mar 27, 2023
🇰🇷
I’ve been a diehard K-pop stan since 2018, and even starred in an MTV documentary in 2020 about my experience. Getting others to understand this part of me has been a struggle at times, but I’ve learned that the greatest weapon in my arsenal is the stage mix, a type of fanmade video that compiles multiple live broadcast performances of one song (“comeback stages”) into one seamless and dazzling spectacle. As opposed to music videos, which can sometimes freak people out with their hyperreal overproduction, stage mixes actually convey the energy that makes K-pop so addictive: the passionate chanting of the audience, the (questionably) live vocals, the unmatched professionalism and synergy, the intense eye contact. You get a comprehensive picture of the group’s stage presence and visual identity; it also helps that the trippy match-cut transitions have a very hypnotizing effect. These should be viewed in the highest resolution possible.
Mar 27, 2023
🍚
A dietary program I invented to get me through inexplicable phases during which I lose my appetite. Instead of not eating (BAD), I will eat:This is designed to be the gustatory equivalent of a sensory deprivation chamber. Eventually you’ll begin to crave all kinds of complex and rich foods, duck and octopus and mushrooms and horseradish and finally having them will be like going from black and white to Technicolor. Going through this process always makes me so grateful for the insane variety of foods we have available to us in our modern world, like it actually makes me want to cry just thinking about how we live in the yummiest time in human history. Works best if you prepare all the white noise elements in advance and just kind of graze mindlessly between them like a cow in a pasture.
Mar 27, 2023
🍚
A dietary program I invented to get me through inexplicable phases during which I lose my appetite. Instead of not eating (BAD), I will eat:This is designed to be the gustatory equivalent of a sensory deprivation chamber. Eventually you’ll begin to crave all kinds of complex and rich foods, duck and octopus and mushrooms and horseradish and finally having them will be like going from black and white to Technicolor. Going through this process always makes me so grateful for the insane variety of foods we have available to us in our modern world, like it actually makes me want to cry just thinking about how we live in the yummiest time in human history. Works best if you prepare all the white noise elements in advance and just kind of graze mindlessly between them like a cow in a pasture.
Mar 27, 2023
🍚
A dietary program I invented to get me through inexplicable phases during which I lose my appetite. Instead of not eating (BAD), I will eat:This is designed to be the gustatory equivalent of a sensory deprivation chamber. Eventually you’ll begin to crave all kinds of complex and rich foods, duck and octopus and mushrooms and horseradish and finally having them will be like going from black and white to Technicolor. Going through this process always makes me so grateful for the insane variety of foods we have available to us in our modern world, like it actually makes me want to cry just thinking about how we live in the yummiest time in human history. Works best if you prepare all the white noise elements in advance and just kind of graze mindlessly between them like a cow in a pasture.
Mar 27, 2023
🧠
A very special app, kind of like Co-Star but with personality tests instead of astrology. The last personality test you’ll ever have to take! I’m very much a skeptic and usually highly resistant to downloading new apps, but Dimensional’s stylish approach to psychometrics is deeply satisfying, and I’m always stimulated by their insights. Using this has actually improved my understanding of myself and others— it’s more fun with friends!
🧠
A very special app, kind of like Co-Star but with personality tests instead of astrology. The last personality test you’ll ever have to take! I’m very much a skeptic and usually highly resistant to downloading new apps, but Dimensional’s stylish approach to psychometrics is deeply satisfying, and I’m always stimulated by their insights. Using this has actually improved my understanding of myself and others— it’s more fun with friends!
🧠
A very special app, kind of like Co-Star but with personality tests instead of astrology. The last personality test you’ll ever have to take! I’m very much a skeptic and usually highly resistant to downloading new apps, but Dimensional’s stylish approach to psychometrics is deeply satisfying, and I’m always stimulated by their insights. Using this has actually improved my understanding of myself and others— it’s more fun with friends!
🖊
Invented by Japanese graphics editor Non Ishida in 1987, Nonograms are addictively elegant visual logic puzzles and IMO the perfect bedtime wind-down activity. They’re kind of like a cross between Sudoku and a paint-by-number. I do them every night on my Nintendo Switch via a game called “Pic-a-Pix Deluxe,” but nonograms.org is also a good entry point. Start small and work your way up— you can even print them out or hand-copy them onto grid paper if you want to go really trad.
🖊
Invented by Japanese graphics editor Non Ishida in 1987, Nonograms are addictively elegant visual logic puzzles and IMO the perfect bedtime wind-down activity. They’re kind of like a cross between Sudoku and a paint-by-number. I do them every night on my Nintendo Switch via a game called “Pic-a-Pix Deluxe,” but nonograms.org is also a good entry point. Start small and work your way up— you can even print them out or hand-copy them onto grid paper if you want to go really trad.
🖊
Invented by Japanese graphics editor Non Ishida in 1987, Nonograms are addictively elegant visual logic puzzles and IMO the perfect bedtime wind-down activity. They’re kind of like a cross between Sudoku and a paint-by-number. I do them every night on my Nintendo Switch via a game called “Pic-a-Pix Deluxe,” but nonograms.org is also a good entry point. Start small and work your way up— you can even print them out or hand-copy them onto grid paper if you want to go really trad.
👞
I’m quite famous for these. They’re not very long lasting, and I am no cobbler, I am no mender, so I go through around 3 pairs per year. Think of them as leather socks: they make your feet look small and strange, like Lord Farquaad’s. Wearing them daily has helped me cultivate the heart of a dancer. Jazz shoes are very similar to Lululemon leggings, they’re appealing because it makes some part of your body look like it’s been dipped in an obsidian lacquer. The clean-girl version of sensual footwear. The soles of your feet will be very close to the ground in these, and I hear being close to the ground is Buddhist.
Mar 27, 2023
👞
I’m quite famous for these. They’re not very long lasting, and I am no cobbler, I am no mender, so I go through around 3 pairs per year. Think of them as leather socks: they make your feet look small and strange, like Lord Farquaad’s. Wearing them daily has helped me cultivate the heart of a dancer. Jazz shoes are very similar to Lululemon leggings, they’re appealing because it makes some part of your body look like it’s been dipped in an obsidian lacquer. The clean-girl version of sensual footwear. The soles of your feet will be very close to the ground in these, and I hear being close to the ground is Buddhist.
Mar 27, 2023
👞
I’m quite famous for these. They’re not very long lasting, and I am no cobbler, I am no mender, so I go through around 3 pairs per year. Think of them as leather socks: they make your feet look small and strange, like Lord Farquaad’s. Wearing them daily has helped me cultivate the heart of a dancer. Jazz shoes are very similar to Lululemon leggings, they’re appealing because it makes some part of your body look like it’s been dipped in an obsidian lacquer. The clean-girl version of sensual footwear. The soles of your feet will be very close to the ground in these, and I hear being close to the ground is Buddhist.
Mar 27, 2023
🏛️
A premier haunt in the corniest part of San Antonio (near the Riverwalk, next door to the Alamo), The Menger Hotel is the only place on earth where you could encounter the ghost of Davy Crockett and Teddy Roosevelt in the same room. Other ghosts include murdered maids, the Alamo martyrs, and almost every historical figure that has set foot in its quarters. I highly recommend booking the Oscar Wilde suite in the Victorian Wing. It smells like bleach, but you can literally feel the luxe gay energy emanating from the walls. If an overnight stay at the most haunted hotel in Texas is not to your liking, you can always grab a post-Alamo Lonestar at the Menger Bar. Sit on the stool where Carrie Nation (famous historical crone) smashed the bar with a hatchet to further the cause of the temperance movement. Or, you can sit at one of the tables where Teddy Roosevelt recruited his Rough Riders. When you’ve gobbled that Lonestar down, make sure to tour the lobby, where you can find Frank Lewis Van Ness’s “Venting Cattle on the Frisco System”, a massive Western painting featured in the 1956 epic “Giant” (James Dean’s last film). Finally, you can grab a mango ice cream at the Colonial Room Restaurant. As Bill Clinton said, “mango ice cream at the Menger Hotel is one of the greatest treasures of American life.”
Mar 27, 2023
🏛️
A premier haunt in the corniest part of San Antonio (near the Riverwalk, next door to the Alamo), The Menger Hotel is the only place on earth where you could encounter the ghost of Davy Crockett and Teddy Roosevelt in the same room. Other ghosts include murdered maids, the Alamo martyrs, and almost every historical figure that has set foot in its quarters. I highly recommend booking the Oscar Wilde suite in the Victorian Wing. It smells like bleach, but you can literally feel the luxe gay energy emanating from the walls. If an overnight stay at the most haunted hotel in Texas is not to your liking, you can always grab a post-Alamo Lonestar at the Menger Bar. Sit on the stool where Carrie Nation (famous historical crone) smashed the bar with a hatchet to further the cause of the temperance movement. Or, you can sit at one of the tables where Teddy Roosevelt recruited his Rough Riders. When you’ve gobbled that Lonestar down, make sure to tour the lobby, where you can find Frank Lewis Van Ness’s “Venting Cattle on the Frisco System”, a massive Western painting featured in the 1956 epic “Giant” (James Dean’s last film). Finally, you can grab a mango ice cream at the Colonial Room Restaurant. As Bill Clinton said, “mango ice cream at the Menger Hotel is one of the greatest treasures of American life.”
Mar 27, 2023
🏛️
A premier haunt in the corniest part of San Antonio (near the Riverwalk, next door to the Alamo), The Menger Hotel is the only place on earth where you could encounter the ghost of Davy Crockett and Teddy Roosevelt in the same room. Other ghosts include murdered maids, the Alamo martyrs, and almost every historical figure that has set foot in its quarters. I highly recommend booking the Oscar Wilde suite in the Victorian Wing. It smells like bleach, but you can literally feel the luxe gay energy emanating from the walls. If an overnight stay at the most haunted hotel in Texas is not to your liking, you can always grab a post-Alamo Lonestar at the Menger Bar. Sit on the stool where Carrie Nation (famous historical crone) smashed the bar with a hatchet to further the cause of the temperance movement. Or, you can sit at one of the tables where Teddy Roosevelt recruited his Rough Riders. When you’ve gobbled that Lonestar down, make sure to tour the lobby, where you can find Frank Lewis Van Ness’s “Venting Cattle on the Frisco System”, a massive Western painting featured in the 1956 epic “Giant” (James Dean’s last film). Finally, you can grab a mango ice cream at the Colonial Room Restaurant. As Bill Clinton said, “mango ice cream at the Menger Hotel is one of the greatest treasures of American life.”
Mar 27, 2023
🐚
If I were global dictator, I would institute a policy that required every bathroom to have some sort of nautical theme. It just makes sense for bathrooms to evoke tropical beach vacation vibes. To meet my policy’s minimum requirements, citizens of the world would have to procure a piece of seashell art. The highest tier of seashell art is the kind that depicts a wacky scenario. For example, you could have a pelican with an auger shell beak playing the ukulele in a straw hat (he must have googly eyes haphazardly hot glued onto his face). Or, you could have an owl made of clam shells playing golf in crooked wire-rimmed glasses (also haphazardly hot-glued). A second-tier option would be a clam shell soap dish. When you get a clam shell soap dish, your bathroom is no longer a bathroom, it’s a powder room. Seashell art in your bathroom is the epitome of class, and I wish the world understood this.
Mar 27, 2023
🐚
If I were global dictator, I would institute a policy that required every bathroom to have some sort of nautical theme. It just makes sense for bathrooms to evoke tropical beach vacation vibes. To meet my policy’s minimum requirements, citizens of the world would have to procure a piece of seashell art. The highest tier of seashell art is the kind that depicts a wacky scenario. For example, you could have a pelican with an auger shell beak playing the ukulele in a straw hat (he must have googly eyes haphazardly hot glued onto his face). Or, you could have an owl made of clam shells playing golf in crooked wire-rimmed glasses (also haphazardly hot-glued). A second-tier option would be a clam shell soap dish. When you get a clam shell soap dish, your bathroom is no longer a bathroom, it’s a powder room. Seashell art in your bathroom is the epitome of class, and I wish the world understood this.
Mar 27, 2023
🐚
If I were global dictator, I would institute a policy that required every bathroom to have some sort of nautical theme. It just makes sense for bathrooms to evoke tropical beach vacation vibes. To meet my policy’s minimum requirements, citizens of the world would have to procure a piece of seashell art. The highest tier of seashell art is the kind that depicts a wacky scenario. For example, you could have a pelican with an auger shell beak playing the ukulele in a straw hat (he must have googly eyes haphazardly hot glued onto his face). Or, you could have an owl made of clam shells playing golf in crooked wire-rimmed glasses (also haphazardly hot-glued). A second-tier option would be a clam shell soap dish. When you get a clam shell soap dish, your bathroom is no longer a bathroom, it’s a powder room. Seashell art in your bathroom is the epitome of class, and I wish the world understood this.
Mar 27, 2023
🥗
No matter what anyone tells you, cooking is not an exact science. Always trust your gut, never trust the recipe. That being said, here’s my favorite lazy recipe I’ve hyper fixated on this month:Prep some shredded chicken in your preferred method. I like to cook my chicken in a pot of water with bay leaves, Goya™ adobo seasoning, celery, and carrots so that I have a broth left over. If you don’t know how to make chicken broth, google it, it's easy. Once your chicken is cooked, shred it with two forks. As you shred, cook the quinoa in the chicken broth. Ideally, you’ll have plenty of chicken and quinoa left over. You can use those leftovers to make this recipe several times a week, like I do. Roast those cherry tomatoes in a pan until somewhat blackened. Next, combine the chicken, quinoa, and tomatoes in a bowl with the remaining ingredients. Give it a Kardashian shake and enjoy.
Mar 27, 2023
🥗
No matter what anyone tells you, cooking is not an exact science. Always trust your gut, never trust the recipe. That being said, here’s my favorite lazy recipe I’ve hyper fixated on this month:Prep some shredded chicken in your preferred method. I like to cook my chicken in a pot of water with bay leaves, Goya™ adobo seasoning, celery, and carrots so that I have a broth left over. If you don’t know how to make chicken broth, google it, it's easy. Once your chicken is cooked, shred it with two forks. As you shred, cook the quinoa in the chicken broth. Ideally, you’ll have plenty of chicken and quinoa left over. You can use those leftovers to make this recipe several times a week, like I do. Roast those cherry tomatoes in a pan until somewhat blackened. Next, combine the chicken, quinoa, and tomatoes in a bowl with the remaining ingredients. Give it a Kardashian shake and enjoy.
Mar 27, 2023
🥗
No matter what anyone tells you, cooking is not an exact science. Always trust your gut, never trust the recipe. That being said, here’s my favorite lazy recipe I’ve hyper fixated on this month:Prep some shredded chicken in your preferred method. I like to cook my chicken in a pot of water with bay leaves, Goya™ adobo seasoning, celery, and carrots so that I have a broth left over. If you don’t know how to make chicken broth, google it, it's easy. Once your chicken is cooked, shred it with two forks. As you shred, cook the quinoa in the chicken broth. Ideally, you’ll have plenty of chicken and quinoa left over. You can use those leftovers to make this recipe several times a week, like I do. Roast those cherry tomatoes in a pan until somewhat blackened. Next, combine the chicken, quinoa, and tomatoes in a bowl with the remaining ingredients. Give it a Kardashian shake and enjoy.
Mar 27, 2023
🍷
This smells like costume jewelry, like dime store romance novels, like a slim-fitting pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Formulated by the unbelievably raunchy Edouard Fléchier, Poison is a guttural, putrefied tuberose that hits you like a freight train running. It’s a mollified plum, thick as molasses. This smells like the death of Elizabeth Taylor. Do not wear it in the daytime.
Mar 27, 2023
🍷
This smells like costume jewelry, like dime store romance novels, like a slim-fitting pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Formulated by the unbelievably raunchy Edouard Fléchier, Poison is a guttural, putrefied tuberose that hits you like a freight train running. It’s a mollified plum, thick as molasses. This smells like the death of Elizabeth Taylor. Do not wear it in the daytime.
Mar 27, 2023
🍷
This smells like costume jewelry, like dime store romance novels, like a slim-fitting pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Formulated by the unbelievably raunchy Edouard Fléchier, Poison is a guttural, putrefied tuberose that hits you like a freight train running. It’s a mollified plum, thick as molasses. This smells like the death of Elizabeth Taylor. Do not wear it in the daytime.
Mar 27, 2023