A premier haunt in the corniest part of San Antonio (near the Riverwalk, next door to the Alamo), The Menger Hotel is the only place on earth where you could encounter the ghost of Davy Crockett and Teddy Roosevelt in the same room. Other ghosts include murdered maids, the Alamo martyrs, and almost every historical figure that has set foot in its quarters. I highly recommend booking the Oscar Wilde suite in the Victorian Wing. It smells like bleach, but you can literally feel the luxe gay energy emanating from the walls. If an overnight stay at the most haunted hotel in Texas is not to your liking, you can always grab a post-Alamo Lonestar at the Menger Bar. Sit on the stool where Carrie Nation (famous historical crone) smashed the bar with a hatchet to further the cause of the temperance movement. Or, you can sit at one of the tables where Teddy Roosevelt recruited his Rough Riders. When youāve gobbled that Lonestar down, make sure to tour the lobby, where you can find Frank Lewis Van Nessās āVenting Cattle on the Frisco Systemā, a massive Western painting featured in the 1956 epic āGiantā (James Deanās last film). Finally, you can grab a mango ice cream at the Colonial Room Restaurant. As Bill Clinton said, āmango ice cream at the Menger Hotel is one of the greatest treasures of American life.ā
Alright my last recommendation here. I wanted to give a few shout outs to some places in Texas, where we were shooting REN FAIRE, which felt like a second home to us. The first is the VRBO weād stay at. This house - (The The Garrett Guesthouse on Stoneham Meadows Ln)- was one of the most idyllic places to stay in⦠Iām pretty sure itās haunted⦠but if it is, itās surrounded by good loving, Awesome, friendly ghosts who are nice to film crews. Itās a beautiful old property and in between shooting stuff, weād all veg out there, have a beer, throw a frisbee around⦠it was awesome. Also wanted to shout out a few other spots: Whisky Tango, a karaoke bar weād hit with our subjects after wrapping for the day in Navasota. I once tried to sing āHead over Heelsā by Tears for Fears here⦠it didnāt go over exactly as I had planned. People were laughing. But hey, I deserved it. Not exactly my vocal range.
food:
- Peche (some of the most creative happy hour cocktails and French bites downtown, get the mac and cheese)
- Paprika ATX (hands down my favorite tacos in the city, go to their pop up at Long Play Lounge on Friday/Saturday nights)
- Kinda Tropical (very chic and hip bar and cafe outfitted from an old gas station) bars
- if you like divey: Workhorse, Shangri-La, Side Bar, Better Days
- if you like fancy: In Plain Sight, Garage, Holiday night:
- Club Eternal (the best damn sound system in all of Texas)
If I were global dictator, I would institute a policy that required every bathroom to have some sort of nautical theme. It just makes sense for bathrooms to evoke tropical beach vacation vibes. To meet my policyās minimum requirements, citizens of the world would have to procure a piece of seashell art. The highest tier of seashell art is the kind that depicts a wacky scenario. For example, you could have a pelican with an auger shell beak playing the ukulele in a straw hat (he must have googly eyes haphazardly hot glued onto his face). Or, you could have an owl made of clam shells playing golf in crooked wire-rimmed glasses (also haphazardly hot-glued). A second-tier option would be a clam shell soap dish. When you get a clam shell soap dish, your bathroom is no longer a bathroom, itās a powder room. Seashell art in your bathroom is the epitome of class, and I wish the world understood this.
Iām quite famous for these. Theyāre not very long lasting, and I am no cobbler, I am no mender, so I go through around 3 pairs per year. Think of them as leather socks: they make your feet look small and strange, like Lord Farquaadās. Wearing them daily has helped me cultivate the heart of a dancer. Jazz shoes are very similar to Lululemon leggings, theyāre appealing because it makes some part of your body look like itās been dipped in an obsidian lacquer. The clean-girl version of sensual footwear. The soles of your feet will be very close to the ground in these, and I hear being close to the ground is Buddhist.