Related Recs

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Delayed gratification

Technically I’m using this term wrong—it’s from the “marshmallow experiment” (iykyk). But in the last year, I have been developing a stronger muscle for delayed gratification as a counter to instant gratification. We live in a very wild moment in modernity / late-stage capitalism where seemingly everything we desire (to own, to know) is at our fingertips. And I’m not entirely convinced we were meant to live like this. Yearning, waiting, longing for something, being patient—these are an important part of the human experience. So why deny ourselves the distinct pleasure of waiting for or working toward something by instantly having it? Slowing down is very very good for us and part of what keeps me going. Here are some ways I practice my delayed gratification: 🕐 film photography, it takes a long while to finish a roll and more time to get the pictures developed ⏲️ borrowing media from the library (bonus points for requesting the library purchase something for me, then hoping and waiting with no guarantee) 🕰️ buying myself a present and then not opening it until the right moment. both of the gold charms that i wear daily i waited a couple of months to open to mark major life milestones ⏰ making sourdough bread. i have to decide three days in advance that i want to bake it and start feeding my starter so she’s ready to bake with. ⏱️ keeping a wishlist instead of buying something the second i want it. this gives me time to consider the purpose it serves, determine if i already own something similar (especially clothing), figure out if i can get by borrowing it (books! music! tools!), and ultimately save up for it. also our shopping impulses are often a response to something deeper inside of us, which is how we often accumulate so much stuff!  💌 sending letters / having pen pals, which gives us the chance to slow down our responsiveness and availability. i love anticipating their letters and sitting down to draft my own.  🪷 having an orchid in my house. she blooms once a year, but i nurture her throughout the year to reach that moment each spring. 

@salad_valet

Mar 25, 2025

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stop forcing INSTANTANEOUS aesthetics

all those packed, roughed up journals and dingy carhart jackets and suitcases covered in stickers you see on pinterest were not created by overconsuming a bunch of bullshit from amazon and decorating them in one night! they're were made from months and years of real and genuine love and use of the objects. curate your aesthetics slowly and more mindfully instead of trying to disingenuously copying everything you see on pinterest for an instant gratification. those tiktoks you see of brand new planners overflowing with random junk is not realistic and impractical. decorate however you want but do it genuinely for yourself, not to recreate an aesthetic you think you need. your stuff will look better in the end if you love it truly and well!!

@sbonifazi

Jan 3, 2025

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Make decisions slowly

I'm frustrated with my tendency towards indecision, and I react by overcompensating. But maybe I could let slow choosing protect me instead. Especially financially! I get on a tear for about a month at a time about one thing (interior design currently) and I want to upend my material possessions. I'm obsessively thinking about money and furniture right now and the occasional reward of the great FB marketplace find temporarily justifies the time sink of it all. I feel the pressure of grabbing something before it's gone and to fill the room I'm working on with all the little details that will perfect it and justify the time spent. But at the end of a search, online shopping and even just window shopping makes me feel depressed and like I'm wasting hours of my life on insubstantial nothings. Making one purchase greases the wheels to make another and the desire to consume exponentially increases while the satisfaction dwindles. The rec is to let the dust settle before reacting to change. Even if you have barriers that will physically prevent you from making your next decision, like a budget forcing you to wait on a following purchase, don't invest time researching that next decision until you've figured out how you feel about your last one. Move all the furniture in a room around and leave it for a few days even if it's sort of worse, put all the knick-knacks in a box and then take them out again, write down everything you want to change on a piece of paper and leave it on your desk for a week. Draw a picture of your vision and tape it above your bed. I drew literally 6 different versions of the room I'm sitting in and it's still in a different state than I could have predicted I would have chosen. My favorite thing in here now is a collage I made years ago which I dug out of a moving box in my closet and stuck in a dirty frame my friend thrifted. It's a crappy DIY and I had to use a claw hammer to bend and unbend the nails holding the backing to do it. I hated the result, but left it on my desk anyways and now it makes me happy every day.

@bumbythefool

Apr 11, 2025

Top Recs from @avalon-lurks

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Cemetery Picnics

Not sure why people stopped doing this. It was actually a really popular and socially accepted family activity in the 1920's. The perfect silence and peace coupled with some of the best and most aesthetically pleasing pieces of art (statues, paintings, stained glass, the fonts on the tombstones) are constant sources of inspiration for me. It's important to me to speak and research the names i see so they never truly die, there are so many forgotten stories it's insane. Cemetery Recommendations: Spend a whole day at Forest Lawn in Glendale, make sure you go inside the hall of crucifixion & the great mausoleum. Angelus Rosedale and The Westwood Memorial Park are my other favorites.

@avalon-lurks

May 4, 2023

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'Slow Days, Fast Company' by Eve Babitz

the patron saint of the sexy, intellectual, thottie and untasteful-tasteful L.A. woman. I refer to her as the bimbo Joan Didion (i mean that in the least reductive way possible) The summer i discovered this book i was working a dead end retail job on Sunset Blvd. and literally got fired for reading it on the clock. she's a genius. the blueprint.

@avalon-lurks

May 4, 2023

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This Nina Hagen Video

i want the last 4 minutes and 6 seconds of my life to be watching this video with the volume at full blast. this is what i want ushering me into the next life.

@avalon-lurks

May 4, 2023