I didn’t start smoking until I was 34- I was on tour in Europe with my band and like, ran out of weed and started chain smoking Marlboros - it was exciting . I figured starting to smoke that late in life was ultimately a win because I needed to put the breaks on this whole life thing in the first- I think 78 is probs the most reasonable age to die at- other wise yr just gonna be stuck in a nursing home with a bunch of squares who never made life threateningly poor decisions and that doesn’t sound fun AT ALL.
I think we really WAY to heavily of therapy culture to soothe our emotional ow-ies and I just wish to god more you would admit that you actually LIKE feeling bad- its all you’ve ever known (or maybe I should Just speak for myself?) EITHER WAY- you therapist is SO SICK of you bitching - she probably makes fun of you to her friends while she’s drunk! And why shouldn’t she? You haven’t changed and you don’t want to- MAYBE instead of torturing your therapist you should just get a tarot reader- HEAR ME OUT- in a therapy session all you hear is the echo chamber of your bad decisions and poorly chosen company- in a tarot reading - you can bitch about all your problems and let a deck of cards decide howTo deal with them- like in scenario 2# you leave with at least a more discernible plan of action and remember the metaphor of tarot - “life comes at you as randomly as a deck of cards
