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I used to see myself as someone with very few friends and even made a little fetish out of the idea of being “a lonely guy.” That may or may not have ever even been true. It’s likely I always had friends but romanticized the idea of not having them. Now, I see myself as someone with friends and while it can be overwhelming in moments, it’s preferable to loneliness or romanticizing loneliness. Having friends/community is also healthier I am told than being alone. So, make friends, enjoy them, cherish them.
May 31, 2022
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i don’t know you so take this with a grain of salt if it doesn’t apply to you. i’ve also never had a long-term romantic relationship so maybe i’m not the best person to listen to anyway. BUT i do have a beautiful community of long-lasting friendships which i believe has given me the skills to be successful in a future romantic partnership
i guess my point is it might be helpful to focus on developing friendships and community first. who knows, a date might come out of it too! but i’ve gone on dates with people who don’t have many friends before and it’s turned out to be a red flag cuz they haven't had experience with relationships in general
also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i haven’t connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs you’re feeling too. but i know it’s a different thing than being head over heels for someone… all depends on what we’re looking for i guess
all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process ✨
Mar 16, 2024
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Friends, family, and community. We get trapped in this idea that only a romantic partner can truly know you and free us from loneliness. That’s a lie. We must practice contentment in solitude and celebrate our familial and platonic relationships. These are not cheap substitutes for romance. They are vital.
Feb 26, 2024
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I don’t mean fully by yourself, but foster one on one connections and do things that fill you up outside of a friend group.
I lost my whole friend group after college and it really wrecked me and continues to do so (not as much as before). Even when I was friends with them I felt that I was the odd one out.
When you’re able to find friends outside of a group, you learn a lot about your own values and about who is really looking to connect. Try not to get discouraged !! <3
Jan 21, 2025
Top Recs from @peter-vack
Dear Haters, keep sucking, I’m about to cum(plete this list). Being a lover is powerful. Being a lover is productive. Being a hater is cucked and pathetic.
Sep 9, 2024
I didn’t touch grass until I was 16 years old, but it changed my life for the better! Nature can be more restorative than man-made cures/therapies, so how can I not recommend touching grass!
Sep 9, 2024
People say going online is bad for mental health and they’re not entirely wrong. But aside from inducing the occasional bout of mania or depression, I’ve also met my best friends and cultivated profound life experiences going online. So, go for it! Get your screen time up! Like, post, scroll, or participate in a group chat for recovering edgelord men! Like I always say, “it’s never a crime to have fun online!”
Sep 9, 2024