Rec | LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

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Rec'd on 💭 i turned 20 today- any tips

i am only 22 so what do I know. But the most important thing so far in my 20s has been my friendships. Having a really tight knit support group is so important IMO. It comes with a lot of ups and downs, but like waaayyyy more ups than downs. And I feel pretty confident that these will be my friends for the rest of my life. I find that a lot of ppl get caught up in dating and romantic attention and prioritize it over platonic relationships at this point in life and I really don’t think that will make u as happy as friendship can. Lovers will come and go… no one is mature enough yet. Friends r forever! That’s my take as a chronically single person with amazing friends. I might be really wrong

@oatmealluvr23

Jul 26, 2025

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@chronicwebuser

i’m 31 and i can’t stress this enough — THIS is the most important lesson you can learn in your entire life. you are 100% CORRECT!!!! let no relationship escalator and patriarchal indoctrination keep you from building community ❌♥️

Jul 26, 2025

@oatmealluvr23

@CHRONICWEBUSER I love to hear this

Jul 26, 2025

@chronicwebuser

@OATMEALLUVR23 you’re going to live a life that will be full of love :) ♥

Jul 26, 2025

@grape

I am also 22 and rapidly growing away from my friends and I absolutely agree lol.. I haven't dated in years either so I really don't think I've formed a strong relationship friend or otherwise in quite a while, but I would definitely be better off for it if I did..Going to school again in the fall and really intent on pursuing avenues of socialization till I get what I want/need

Jul 26, 2025

@oatmealluvr23

@GRAPE U GOT THIS!!

Jul 26, 2025

@4eyed

ohoho.. me and my childhood bestie are going on 3yrs + now.. it happens!

Jul 26, 2025

@llq

thank you! i’ve always agreed with this take but i loved reading it in your words

Jul 26, 2025

@oatmealluvr23

@LLQ ayyyy thank u

Jul 26, 2025

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feel free to ignore this

i don’t know you so take this with a grain of salt if it doesn’t apply to you. i’ve also never had a long-term romantic relationship so maybe i’m not the best person to listen to anyway. BUT i do have a beautiful community of long-lasting friendships which i believe has given me the skills to be successful in a future romantic partnership i guess my point is it might be helpful to focus on developing friendships and community first. who knows, a date might come out of it too! but i’ve gone on dates with people who don’t have many friends before and it’s turned out to be a red flag cuz they haven't had experience with relationships in general
also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i haven’t connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs you’re feeling too. but i know it’s a different thing than being head over heels for someone… all depends on what we’re looking for i guess
all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process ✨

@capyboppy

Mar 16, 2024

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Having Friends

I used to see myself as someone with very few friends and even made a little fetish out of the idea of being “a lonely guy.” That may or may not have ever even been true. It’s likely I always had friends but romanticized the idea of not having them. Now, I see myself as someone with friends and while it can be overwhelming in moments, it’s preferable to loneliness or romanticizing loneliness. Having friends/community is also healthier I am told than being alone. So, make friends, enjoy them, cherish them.

@peter-vack

May 31, 2022

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When it comes to being single, i've gone pro

I'm 25 and have never been in a serious relationship. In fact, the only time that I haven't been single was for two-ish months when I was 15. I'll go on a dates and hangout with someone for a month or so every 2-3 years but nothing ever comes out of. That's either bc they don't want anything serious or we just don't vibe together. To put the final nail in my coffin, I don't take dating apps seriously enough to find anything worth it on there too. It can be lonely, and I find myself occasionally doubting my worth to the world around me... But then I talk to people who are in relationships and hear the shit they have to deal with, and it's like an instant cure to all loneliness and self doubt LOL. I also just enjoy my time alone to be honest. I also lovvve love love having the whole bed to myself and my cat (he takes up enough room as is bc he loves to lay horizontally haha). I, along with everyone else who has ever existed, have problems that I want to work out in my life before I go out and actively search for a partner. When I need company, I have my friends to pour my love onto! I spend a lot of time with them doing things that are fulfilling such as community work, learning crafts, watching movies and discussing them. I will always save space in my heart to finding someone I love romantically, but for now I am focusing on having fun, building a good friend group, taking care of my mind/body/soul. I've accepted that the romance will come when I am ready for it.