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I read an essay the other day about dumpster divers who believe if your prayers are too vague then the gods will confuse your intentions. I’m not religious, but that seems legit. I‘ve been trying it out to see what happens.
Dec 20, 2023
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Before I eat I’ve started to pray before meals. I pray for everyone involved in the cultivation and creation of my food. From the farmers, to the grocery clerk, to my roommate who sits with me while I cook.
Helps me remind myself that even something as small as my meal is a part of a bigger community. Maybe it does nothing, maybe attunes myself to others around me (especially to migrant farm workers + their struggles), maybe it’s just sending good vibes.
Feb 11, 2025
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With all the quick motions and shocking happenings of the world, I've been taking refuge in the faith I was raised with. Not with a reactionary frame of mind, but searching for the empathetic section of the world I knew when I was younger. Before, I learned about the expansive evils of the world and the contradictory nature of mainstream Christianity and, in extension, Catholicism. I've left the church, but I still visit from time to time, mentally. The teachings of love and justice have given me solace in these trying times. As some rights are being stripped and opportunities limited, my first reaction has been to pray for the people affected. Sympathy is hardwired in my bones, but it's new that I physically get on my knees to recite and conjure a prayer. I've been told I'm having a "come to God" moment, but honestly, I feel I'm falling in love with an idealistic version of Catholicism. Something I can defer to when the logical and the skeptical sections of my mind are overworked with anguish. I feel it couldn't only be me feeling these emotions.
Anyone else?
Jan 28, 2025
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Kirkegaard talked about the purpose of prayer being not to affect the will of the almighty on the external world, but to rather affect the one who prays, internally. this was a really good revelation for me at the time of reading this and I am remembering it today. I think the idea holds weight even when removed from a religious framework. It also falls into an interesting loose grouping of ideas that start out as prescriptions, but reveal themselves in fact to be inevitable descriptions. Those kinds of ideas I find to be the most true.
It’s true that our desires, expressed internally or externally, intentionally or unintentionally, do reflect back on to our internal selves to create a feedback loop of the will that affects our subconscious and conscious perception of the world around us. Today I am praying for the correct posture towards the Real. The only prayer I know is, ”may it be so.”
Feb 29, 2024
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Every weekday I challenge myself to spend $0. If I frame it as a challenge the boring stuff becomes exciting. Making my lunch at home feels electric, like I’m winning the game. I frequently lose the game buying beers after work. Gas doesn’t count. I saved $900 last month.
Dec 8, 2023
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The best place on Earth. Drive the Old King's Highway from the bridge to Orleans. Drink a scorpion bowl at Double Dragon, the only Chinese place with a waterfront deck. Stare at the Atlantic until you lose yourself. Drink $3 pints at the Quarterdeck, start a fight, get kicked out, and walk to the 19th Hole. Watch the college kids play baseball under the lights in the summertime. Bike among the old homes and imagine the colonial 1750's. Catch a sunfish and throw it back in.
Nov 16, 2023
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I was 4 and called it “Apple Love”.
Do you believe in life, apple love?
Jan 28, 2024