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Probably once or twice a month, maybe more in the winter months, I spiral enough to start searching for entirely new jobs that I have no experience in in new cities. These usually include farm work or something to do with being at a vineyard or anything that requires being outside. I think I find comfort in the idea that I really could always pick up and start a new life, even if I don’t want it - like the exit is always there.
Dec 21, 2023
Related Recs
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when things are just going so well that you get scared as hell waiting for it all to fall apart. It’s a normal feeling, but a dirty, nasty thief of joy. Don’t let it convince you to borrow grief from the future and ruin the now.
also, I moved a hell of a lot growing up too and I also thought I wanted to root myself in one place forever and ever when I “grew up” — it was just an outsized response to the reality of my moment. As an adult, I get itchy when I stay in one place too long and I’m realizing that a substantial part of who I am will always have 1 eye on the horizon. I’m figuring out how to make peace with that now. I’m also leaning into the fact that I am much more comfortable with change than most of my peers! it can be a super power if you let it :)
Dec 29, 2024
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whatever is holding you and feeding you creatively!
I think we have such a different idea now of what careers can look like and we’re no longer held to the “be at one job for 40 years” mentality. Which is equally freeing and terrifying.
But i think you keep feeding that part of yourself until it feels like you shouldn’t move on or feel there’s more to explore in one area. I realize this isn’t an exact rec but im feeling this too and am finding that the reframe is helpful for the freefalling feeling.
Mar 11, 2024
it’s not suicidal ideation it’s something meaningfully different, the feeling of wanting to phase out of existence for a few days/weeks/months/years and come back when you’re ready. i feel like my entire life ive hinged my willingness to live on far flung dates in the future. i have a vivid memory of me being in 8 years old convincing myself everything will be alright if i can just live to see the premiere of the need for speed movie (i never watched it). the need to have something in the distance to live for is something i wish came endemically, but instead im constantly searching for whatever thing/person i need to stake my life on. it’s why i think i want to disappear for a bit, just to see if anything changes. maybe i need some r&r or maybe i need to get a grip. jury’s out.
6d ago
Top Recs from @kacy
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When is the last time you sat down outside and watched some bugs? They’re small and beautiful and make the world go round. Some of my favorite childhood memories include turning over rocks in the desert, looking for centipedes and scorpions with my dad. I highly recommend watching some bugs go about their day; bees and ants are especially enthralling.
Dec 21, 2023
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NOTHING in this world has brought me more comfort than a bean and cheese burrito, and I have been making the same bean and cheese burritos since 2006. The greatest at home bean and cheese burrito is made with Tortilla Land uncooked flour tortillas, whole pinto beans, extra sharp Tillamook cheddar, and chipotle tabasco. I don’t want to hear it about the cheddar cheese, there are no acceptable substitutes.
Dec 21, 2023