Related Recs

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love, in this society?

I don't want to be negative, honestly, but it's really hard to find someone who is willing to show their feelings for you. Today's dating feels like a competition: whoever shows feelings first loses, and everything falls apart. I was in a relationship recently, and as a person who's not afraid to show emotions, I ended up spooking this guy away by showing him how much I truly cared about him. That experience not only taught me that dating apps and networking for relationships suck, but it also showed me that there’s something I need to change within myself. There’s something lacking that’s not attracting the "ideal person." So, my advice is to first check in with yourself and ask, "Am I the person I would like to date?" Once you let that sink in, you can focus better on the type of person you would like or someone who fits within your possibilities. It’s all about being real with yourself. If you cannot “afford” your ideal person emotionally, mentally, or otherwise, take some time off to work on yourself. I understand how the heart YEAAAARRRNS for a little smooch now and then—especially one filled with love. But we can't expect to find happiness in a relationship if we aren't the kind of person we would want to date. I hope everyone who reads this finds their "ideal" person by February 14th. <3

@conconetedekoko

Jan 27, 2025

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might not be applicable to your situation but I hope this is helpful in some capacity

i’ve spent most of my life searching for romantic love and thinking something was wrong with me because i never got it. i prayed even though i’m not religious, i had a box filled with manifestations of the “perfect” guy under my pillow, i tried to go after guys i knew were meh because i thought u could make the love blossom, i did honey jar spells, i changed the way i looked, the way i spoke, my interests, i did EVERYTHING. this all resulted in a slew of horrendous situationships that tore down my self-esteem. after these, i definitely worked on myself and became much more confident and sure of myself, but still thought that a relationship would be the thing to make me truly happy. at 20, i had my first real boyfriend and he was “perfect”, or at least everything i thought i had ever wanted. he was attractive, tried to pay for everything, planned the most thoughtful dates, went out of his way to see me, was incredibly intelligent, kind, loyal, hardworking, took care of me when i was sick, and even respected the fact that i’m entirely celibate (like what 20 y/o guy is ok w that??). i ended up breaking up with him after a few months because i realized that a relationship was not what i actually wanted or needed, it was just what i thought about 24/7. not saying this is you, but the steps i took after our breakup might help with your situation. diversify and expand your sources of happiness/love as no one source will make you feel truly fulfilled. i started by doing 4 things: something that expanded my mind, something that earned me money, something that fulfilled me creatively, and something that fed me spiritually. for me this was college classes, a job at a restaurant, painting, hanging out with the people that i love more often, and joining a bunch of clubs at my school. i think our society places so much emphasis on romantic love, but other types, especially the love i receive from my friends has been the most unconditional and satiating. lastly, (again not saying this is you, it’s just a common reality) expecting one person to satisfy all of your need for love is not only dangerous for you (if they leave, you’ll be crushed) but also unfair to them. maybe i‘m just yapping to yap, but i hope this was helpful.

@alyssaearthangel

Jan 1, 2025

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feel free to ignore this

i don’t know you so take this with a grain of salt if it doesn’t apply to you. i’ve also never had a long-term romantic relationship so maybe i’m not the best person to listen to anyway. BUT i do have a beautiful community of long-lasting friendships which i believe has given me the skills to be successful in a future romantic partnership i guess my point is it might be helpful to focus on developing friendships and community first. who knows, a date might come out of it too! but i’ve gone on dates with people who don’t have many friends before and it’s turned out to be a red flag cuz they haven't had experience with relationships in general also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i haven’t connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs you’re feeling too. but i know it’s a different thing than being head over heels for someone… all depends on what we’re looking for i guess all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process ✨

@capyboppy

Mar 16, 2024

Top Recs from @jessisonline

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Hating on ai

Sometimes I recommend being a hater. I’m not here to talk about the numerous quality uses of AI, how often it is actually used nor am I here to critique AI without strawmanning it. I don’t care if I strawman an account of AI because I genuinely despise the way most people use AI. I think AI generated images are ugly. I think that AI cannot hold a half decent conversation. I’m completely avoidant when it comes to showing AI my writing; I’ve never done it and I refuse to. I hate when you go to that one poetry website and there is AI “analysis” there, because its not real textual analysis and it upholds a certain contextualised intentionalist framework of reading a text reinforced in high school English. I hate that the meta AI will influence what products will be advertised to you. I don’t care if it’s the future. I genuinely love being called a dinosaur because I hate AI.

@jessisonline

Sep 24, 2024

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Immersing yourself in the world of bugs

When we let go of the fear we hold towards the smallest creatures of our environment, and learn how to immerse ourself in an instance of nature rather than making an instance of nature our own, we learn to truly be alive. Bugs are great because you can’t own them, but you can admire their beauty. #bugnation2024

@jessisonline

Jan 21, 2024

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tzatziki

It’s now beat babaganoush as my favourite dip.

@jessisonline

Aug 31, 2024