Related Recs

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Current Server Bits

These aren’t for every table, i kinda litmus test the guests in my intro to see what kind of bits they can tolerate. I ~work~ for my tips. We have a roll called the hoki poki, so anytime someone orders it i call and repeat “turn yourself around”, if the table gets a kick out of that, i’ll spin in a circle when i drop it off. Anytime someone orders the crispy rice i say “yep defffffinitely been here before” When i check the birthday guest‘s ID I say “wow it REALLY is your birthday” When i serve a couple celebrating an anniversary, i’ll ask how many years and then be like, “congrats on the love and stuff,” (very buffy coded) When a guest asks where a certain fish is from, before i tell them the real answer, ie alaskan salmon, i say “the ocean”

@weird

Aug 8, 2024

😅

OVEREXPLAINED ORDERING FOOD

When you're not from NYC, there's a certain insecurity that never quite goes away. Like, “should I already know how to do this?” That was me, two years into living here, feeling semi-local at my bodega next door, but still quietly preparing in my head just to be sure. It was late. Post Model/Actriz concert. Starving. I’m with a friend and we stop at my spot for a chopped cheese, my small badge of assimilation. There’s a new guy working the grill, and he’s mid-smoothie prep, not acknowledging me at all. I’m not sure if he’s on break or just… busy? So I hover. Wait. Do the classic uncertain smile-stance. Eventually, I order. Minimal response. He starts cooking. Then, this older woman walks in and gently asks me what to order here. Me and my friend agree, chopped cheese, no doubt. She nods, curious. We chat a little. All is well. But then, after a few quiet minutes, she yells over from the counter asks, “How do you order it?” Instead of just saying “chopped cheese on a hero, everything, pickles” like a normal person I went into an exacting breakdown of how to order food and navigate the mysterious rhythms of bodega etiquette:n “Well, first, you wait. He’ll make eye contact when he’s ready. Then you state your intention clearly. Don’t rush him. Then say: chopped cheese, everything, pickles. Hero roll. But again, you have to wait for the signal.” I finish explaining and my friend goes: “I don’t think that’s what she meant.” She just wanted to know what I ordered, of course not the entire rite-of-passage for ordering food. We all laughed. She got her order. I got my sandwich. As a non-American it’s hilarious to me that I turned a simple question about what I ordered into a full-on lesson in bodega anthropology. Glad I was still helpful on her quest for the first chopped cheese.

@thomaspok

6d ago

⭐

localmaxxing

the guy at the store should know you, the man running the halal truck should know your order, your barista should know your name and you should know theirs, you should have a borderline flirtatious banter going with a bartender at your favorite dive bar

@gabbylinder

Jun 14, 2024

Top Recs from @paydayl0an

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French onion grilled cheese

Carmelize the damn onions in butter and beef broth. Low heat, 45 fuckin minutes. I’m not playin w you. Use gruyere cheese Make a compound butter with my girlies: thyme and rosemary and their dude garlic. Slather that butter on two pieces of sourdough. Both sides, I shouldn’t even have to tell you this. Cook up some bacon!!! Add a tomato. If you’re feeling froggy…truffle powder. Get to work.

@paydayl0an

Jan 25, 2024

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My radio show about the history of african american music

It’s black history month. Support your black friends and learn the origin of like every American popular musical genre everrr. Once I’m done with the 40 + genres, we’re diving into the diasporaaaa. And then at some point I’m talking cash shit about the summer of love and what was cooler than stinky trust fund kids…I mean hippies in San Francisco... I’ll give you some hints, same time period but across the bridge in Oakland. There’s also 1980s Washington DC, fuck it even 1960s Detroit. I just really fucking hate the Grateful Dead fans. Sorry. Not sorry. Perfect listening for cleaning the house and doing art projects. Tell a friend.

@paydayl0an

Feb 2, 2024

⭐

Doing tasks at 130 BPM or higher.

I think that might be my secret to “success” My Success today is doing laundry and drafting emails 🫢 Might fuck around and clean a bathroom or write a few paragraphs for a short story.

@paydayl0an

Jan 23, 2024