this time last year i would listen to this song every day on the subway to my mind-numbingly boring barista job. i worked eight hour shifts alone, serving the occasional customer but mostly just sitting around eating expired baked goods and staring down at my ten-year-old docs spattered with matcha and espresso, the soles crusted with sidewalk salt. i listened to Phair singing about closing her eyes and her bank account and needing someone to do her thinking for her, and i fantasized about walking away from the shapeless, sleepy postgraduate life i’d sunk into. taking off my apron, abandoning the city and everyone who knew me there, getting on a train or a plane or just walking until i was swallowed by the sunset…it all sounds so trite now, but at the time i carried that idea around like a lucky charm. something to hold onto, to help me feel real. i thought it was the most romantic thing a girl could do. go west, young woman.
One day the skin that holds me will be dust
And I’ll be ready to travel again
For now, I want to go further in
Into moment, into vision, into you
I swore I'd show myself so I could renew
That's not the same as being new forever
The shape of your hand left in the dust of summer glass
I want to be whole enough to risk again
Ok first of all incredible thread a Lot of brand new lyrics stuck with me maybe bc of formative years etc but: If somehow I was new and everything was unsaid
I'd go and buy a hammer, never sing again Fleetwood Mac silver springs: I'll follow you down til' the sound of my voice will haunt you
Give me just a chance
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you Pink Floyd: We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year Lala lala: You think I'm good so I'm almost done wanting
I'm suddenly full this is belonging
I've had too much fun when will it get taken
I am still living with your ghost
Lonely and dreaming of the west coast
I don't wanna be your downtime
I don't wanna be your stupid game With my big black boots and an old suitcase
I do believe I'll find myself a new place
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore I just wanna see some palm trees
I will try and shake away this disease We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die I am still dreaming of your face
Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away
I don't wanna be your good time
I don't wanna be your fall-back crutch anymore Walk right up into a brand new day
Insane and rising in my own weird way
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore I just wanna feel some sunshine
I just wanna find some place to be alone
i just think that dabbling in many things but not being really good at any of them is soooo chic…me when i call myself a writer but haven’t finished a poem in four months…