Now if you're a metrosexual like me then you, like most metrosexuals, will find yourself often in precarious situations. Today I'll teach you how to watch and conversate about Love Island and other 3rd date necessitated Trash TV with a potential romantic attraction while showcasing that you are indeed straight.
It's important to disarm yourself immediately of any insecurities, try first:
"yea that's a pretty big bulge he has, but I've seen bigger on my friends in the locker room cuddle sessions"
This will signal to your prospective partner that you have a sense of humor and that you've explored the entire range of male girth, from an aesthetic position that is.
Now that these basic boundaries are set we can move on. When you see the first beaitiful woman on screen proclaim "oh my Baba Yaga momma I'm deeply entrenched in her in a hetero way."
This is what we, in the metroscene, call an "artful employment of tension and jealousy through the lack of validation."
By indicating that you would copulate with the virtual celebrity, your prospective partner will see you as a high value target, capable of seducing cougar moms and swooning e-girls alike.
It's at this point that you're ready to make your move, turn to look at them, stare deeply at them for at least four seconds of silence and finally say "I see God in your eyes"
Congratulations you are now betrothed