There’s no such thing as a hangover cure, only prevention. So I came up with the Three Cup Challenge: When you get home after a big night out, chug three cups of water before bed. It’s unpleasant but it works, if you commit; my girlfriend sometimes stops at two and it doesn’t hit right. There’s also the minor inconvenience that you will wake up at 5 AM needing to pee in a truly psychedelic way. Worth it, though.
They'll be sorry they parked their cart in the middle of the pasta aisle that also has pasta sauce at the other end of it. They'll feel a cold, godless sick when they think about what they could have done differently--how it all could have gone differently--or at least be confused for the rest of the day, about why your body popped into all those ribbons at the kroger.
