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How do you sleep
so easy
after putting me down
so hard
I told you I was worried
And you said
you were too but that you loved me
and I would have believed that but you didn’t look up
from your phone when you said it
Enchanted and in love with the video
playing on your screen
The one that had
your attention
and affection
while I laid in bed next to you
salivating
like a dog waiting to be noticed
and touched by a kind-looking man on the street
Do you remember what you were watching?
Me either.
But I know where I stand
you say it’s always about me
it’s always about me
It’s always about me
But it isn’t
it’s about us
And it’s upsetting to know that
we don’t exist anymore
Feb 3, 2024
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and i made a song about you but it’s also about me and no one will ever hear it its called my thoughts and its not actually a song but the way music flies out of your mouth makes me want to say sweet nothings as i put my words with yours like a torn up half read book you keep by your bedside table that you tell yourself you’ll get around to. i play fast and loose with my actions around you, and maybe it’s too much even for me.
i try to distract with overconsumption of digital content thst just fucking overwhelmes me and gets in the way of anything getting done.
you’ll never read this by the way. but can i recite the pages of senseless amateur poetry i wrote about you?
i never really belong anywhere, and i camouflage into a current residence until i trick myself into thinking i truly know the people i’m around. it happened once, the effect that is. im not there anymore, and i hope those people don’t hate me like i hate myself for leaving. this isn’t about you, just me rehashing horrible guy-wrenching emotions of a past (if you can even call two years ago the past), and things i don’t talk about.
im the most observant person ever, and you wouldn’t expect it. i’m so sensitive, i pick up every little movement someone does and i overthink everything thst happens before and after a conversation, guilt racks me after any social gathering and i wonder if i said anything wrong.
but there’s so much to be grateful for life is so so beautiful im so lucky to be alive and have this device that i’m emotionally giving myself to and have given my life to. i love love, life, and people and i already made a long post about this im not reiterating. and i love how i can see you everyday and stand on the sidelines as your hype man in your game of love, ill hold the water bottle of my unrequited longing, ready to serve drops of my musings of you only to accidentally pour myself onto you.
Mar 26, 2025
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By Margaret Atwood. My favorite love poem 🌹
I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head
and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear
I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in
I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.
Oct 22, 2024
🌻
Lady,
Something hit me when I saw you for the first time. You were vibrant, sparkling, full of life. Wearing a bright t-shirt with a pez dispenser on it. We chatted, I said I liked your shirt. There was a lot I liked about you in that moment, though I only mentioned the shirt.
A friendship formed. I wondered if maybe it was going to be more than that—something in your marrow spoke to my marrow—but I also knew you were out of my league, so I didn't dare hope it and didn't dare pursue it.
And somehow I stumbled into a relationship with someone else. We weren't a great fit for each other, but once it started I felt obligated to keep on with it.
One day you and I went for a walk and you told me you thought something had been stirring between us and now you were confused because I was dating this other girl. I didn't know what to say. By then it seemed too late. The wheels were already in motion in the other direction. We said good-bye and parted ways—school ended for the year and I transferred out.
Later that year I encountered you again: but this time in a dream. We hadn't seen each other for months. Things were going okay with the someone else: actually, I was barely surviving it. But in my loneliness I stuck with her. I wasn't myself enough to be able to end the relationship. I didn't know how to reclaim me and just kept going through the motions.
But then you came to me that one night as I slept.
In my dream I was in my childhood hometown, walking down the street. I saw you and you were with a man. You introduced us: "This is my husband," you said about him.
When you said that, I broke down on the spot. Literally, crumpled onto the street.
And the pain in the dream sliced so hard into the real world that I woke up crying. Twenty-two years old, alone in the dark, tears streaming down my my face. My heart breaking. Sobbing.
Before that, I'd hidden the thought of you. Tried not to think about you: to do so was just too dangerous.
But that dream planted you back in my heart.
You've been there ever since.
Mar 17, 2025
Top Recs from @kareem
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Don’t get me wrong, I love going to the beach in the summer but something about swimming holes hits different. There’s a sense of real nostalgia and joy that captures the true essence of summer. I grew up in Minnesota also known as the Land of 10,000 Lakes, so maybe this is a way to connect with my roots. There are lots of swimming holes to choose from even as close as New Jersey. One of my favorites is more-so a lake but it’s surrounded by mountains and has a hot dog stand. It’s called Bellayre Beach and it will make you feel like a kid again.
Mar 22, 2022
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i’m getting one right now. this is how you stay young forever. if you’re feet don’t hurt your body won’t either.
Feb 10, 2024
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I believe it is important for everyone to be gainfully employed. We must contribute to a productive society. The more emails we send, the more productive the society will be. The more productive society is, the more opportunities we will have to get promoted.
As my unemployed father always said to us before he left my family to start a new one, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop."
Nov 13, 2023