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the mind can do it, rationally. but heartache is something you can’t think away. one day, after many months, you wake up and thinking about it doesn’t shake you to your core - the “what ifs” don’t sound too good either. one random day you just wake up and it’s like nothing ever happened, it DID happen but it’s not part of you in the same way.
Mar 1, 2024
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there’s something strange about the headAche that follows a good cry. it lingers. an aching reminder that the tEars were real. that the sadness was deep. the thrObbing in my temPles feels like a weight. but also a strange clarity. when everything seems blurred and raw. the mind is sharp in a way it’s neVer been before. it’s as though the heart and tHe mind have found a rhythm together. a rhythm that only comes with the quiet aftermath of pain.
it’s during this vulnerability - when tHe world feels heavy and silent that creativity flows best. when sadness wears away the surface - the soul has space to create without barriers. there’s honesty in it, a kind of bruTal truth that can only emerge from the deepest emotions. the ache. thouGh painful. clears the path for something new to emErge. it’s almost as if the sorrow is the soil for growth, and from it, idEas sprout and twist.
but i kNow that this isn’t forever. the headache will fade, and with it, the weight of tears. what once felt overWhelming will soften. moments are just the prelude to something better. the clouds will break. there will be space for the light to return.
Feb 22, 2025
Live with heartbreak for a while. It‘ll be different but the same. You’ll forget why and then remember and feel it all over again. Delete their pictures but keep them in a secret folder on your phone so you can cry by yourself watching their face smile at you.
Re-learn old habits you’ve forgotten you even enjoyed because you strayed so far away from who you once were.
In some odd way you’ll have to re-learn happiness, too. Well, not so much re-learning it but changing its meaning, find new ways to feel fulfilled, the same way you once felt with them.
Make some more lame playlists with oddly specific titles so you at least feel like you’re making something out of all the quiet pain you feel inside.
And wonder. A lot of wondering. All the time. Everywhere. In your house. At your job. Inside your body and next to you in the bed you once woke beside them, smiling.
And you’ll never forget, but it will get painfully easier.
May 7, 2024
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There’s no easy answer. I was sad about my first love for two years after it ended. Tried everything. Travel, gym, throwing myself into work. I still think about her after all this time, but after a while it just stopped hurting & started to feel like an episode from someone else’s life. You Gotta make the agreement with yourself that everything that is beautiful & kind in life may one day end & transfigure into something extremely painful that can never be recovered. You just keep going & have faith that one day something even more beautiful will fly in through your window
Aug 9, 2024
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Mar 18, 2025
Mar 27, 2025
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this would have been a rec 7 hours ago before the delusions subsided. to all the victims of anxious attachment, i see you and hear you and im going crazy and my tummy hurts real bad.
Mar 26, 2025