i am friends with my most recent ex, we dated for five years and our relationship was basically just friendship at the end. we didnt rly have a break between dating and friendship so there was a weird boundary blur (eg. overly involved emotionally in his life/being his therapist) and i had to take a big step back. definitely take time apart. now we have a lot of distance and hang out once in a while but not too often n it's a good balance of not having any weird grudge post-break up but also not having a strange pseudo emotional relationship still. all this to say... take ur time! listen to ur gut! set boundaries for urself! take space!
Mar 12, 2024
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i am an excessively sentimental person, probably to a fault, so i try to do it whenever i am able. people don't easily just stop mattering to me and i always hope to make our relationships reflect that, but it definitely takes time to feel normal and isn't possible in every circumstance. taking the appropriate amount of time needed to understand what that person means to you/would treat you like outside of a romantic context, and if that is a healthy dynamic for you, is key. the best friendships with exes are casual, infrequent, and voluntary with no expectation of hanging out or talking every day or anything at all really. just their occasional presence
Mar 13, 2024
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years ago I treated any former relationship or partner with a disposable nature that did not serve me or them benefit. in hindsight I can see why and how fit for the relationship wasn't ideal - however, I think the root of not being able to stay friends with an ex (in my experiences) have some kind of deficit in behaviors, thoughts, needs, opinions, etc that resulted in the thing ending
you should ask yourself how they made your feel when you were only acquaintances or friends and if that’s feasible to stick around.
on the other hand, friendships fizzle out without any rhyme or reason. if you think this could be a concern down the line it might just be better to ask if you can stay friends and get the answer to the question quickly
Mar 11, 2024
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i had an insane crush in 2019 on my friend and i completely lost my head it got pretty unhealthy at one point especially after she started dating this other dude so i had a talk with her and we both were like we want to be in eachothers lives for sure but i had to be like this as is does not work i can’t hear about your relationship problems while i feel like this. didn’t talk to her much for about a month or so and then i went to new york and we hung out it was great and normal and now im great friends with both her and that guy, she’s still with him. can’t even imagine seeing her through a romantic lens anymore. every time we are in the same place we see each other and it’s always just so lovely
but yeah all that to say i think just have to have a super honest conversation where you draw boundaries clearly and figure out where to go from there what both of you need etc
Jun 10, 2024
Top Recs from @girluwant
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tweeting weakens ur immune system
May 8, 2024
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choose a band you like. look up the label and listen to everything else under it that you havent heard 🤝 google the label owner, see if they have their hands in other labels. if yr lazy, lurk ur friends spotify playlists <3
Mar 21, 2024
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if i am presented with an intrusive thought about ppl who do not like me for my past mistakes (they're probably not thinking about me key word intrusive) i shift my focus onto my friends who love me for who i have grown into (less unhinged) it is freeing 🕊️
Apr 4, 2024