i was taking my morning constitutional in the office bathroom (handicap stall as always). believing i was alone i let one rip. answering my call was a response toot, loud but short. "okay" i thought. forehead vein popping i released an even louder and significantly longer fart. whatever nerd was two stalls over followed up with a meek retort. he decided to sneak another one out of turn, ย pathetic effort to catch me off-guard. rookie move, he clearly doesnt know who the fuck i am. I decided to settle this, a world ender: low and vibrating though my bones finished by a crystal clear triumph somewhere between a trumpet and a goat screaming. heard him flush and leave in a hurry. soft ass bitch. now he knows. didnt even bother washing my hands as i left โ
like donโt do it or I will wave my hands around & embarrass you cuz that shit stank and ur looking around like u also smell it no like thatโs u bae
laying down very flat in bed after working my icky closing shift at my icky retail job feels so yummy. i can feel my individual spinal cords clicking back into place
