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-carrying a cane is vital for me getting into character for Monopoly The Musical, and I would never do anything halfway.
-you know how when you skydive they say thereās an extra parachute? Well. Sometimes there isnāt.
-itās the funniest thing! did you know there are sharks in the Anacostia this time of year?
-got in too deep with the mob. Iām never looking back.
-You know how it wasā¦ Back in ānam
Apr 27, 2024
Related Recs
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i wouldnāt recommend doing this around your regular haunts, but occasionally iāll pretend my life circumstances are different to strangers in customer service interactions, just for my own laugh. example: iām buying 2 gallons of goat milk at the farm stand, the woman behind the counter says, āthatās a lot of milk!ā, i reply, āi have family to feedā (i am unmarried and have no kids).
OR
i walk into a lamp to store check the price of a stained glass rooster lamp. the owner says ā135ā, i say, āokay cool, going to go run it by the wife!ā (iām gay).
typing this out makes me realize this will really only ever be funny to you and will only be fun if the false identity is so far from who you are. if youāre just gassing up aspects of your life then it becomes weird and maybe psycho.
Jan 6, 2024
As soon as I close my laptop - I am dumb.
I get to the bar, I have noooo idea about marketing and advertising. Politics?? No idea. Communism - is that the same as punctuation? I have NO idea where Brussels is.
When I leave work I wanna be a bombshell.
Letās discuss the cultural significance of Leah, JaNa and Serena. I wanna DISCUSS Scheana and Ariana Madix. Letās cackle and say words at each other. surely we can just print more money. I love your shirt. Who bleaches your hair? Iām Australian tonight.
(Yes Iām still single)
Sep 18, 2024
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specifically during job interviews. i get to work on my improv skills and ability to think fast. ātell me about a time you dealt with a difficult patient or customerā crazy story actually i once stopped 3 girls from stealing $150 worth of anthropolgie jewelry by bonding with them over being ex-directioners (no i didnāt)
Apr 5, 2024
Top Recs from @andbettywhenyoucallme
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Despite my past fears, I have spent the last year leaning to love bugs. Researching bugs and looking for them on my walks and noticing noticing noticing. Things are less scary when they arenāt unknown! The world is more beautiful when you appreciate the things that make it work! To be alive is to be in community with the wild world around us! Bugs are cool!
Mar 21, 2024
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Kiss your partner on the forehead! Kiss your friends on the forehead! Their whole personhood is just below the surface reeling and thinking and feeling! Press yourself close to who they are and make them feel loved!
Apr 27, 2024