đźš«
going celibate until I release my album (slated for July) — maybe Orgy release show? 🤔
ok, so, I am currently on day 107 no boinking — this includes solo boink. this is the longest I have gone since the dawn of my extensive sensual history.
what I intended was to focus my creative horny energy into my music and other ventures— and it has been all that and more.
the clarity through which I am engaging in my environment is unparalleled. no longer marred by my desire to squirt, I am venturing into the unknown corners of my cobwebbed mind and doing a spring cleaning.
I got a life changing job opportunity. album almost done. music video filmed. single submitted. friendships flourishing. gratitude and abundance abounds. breakthroughs in therapy. only flirted with one ex(the one I just can’t, and may never, quit) but now found the restricted feature on insta dms and now if I want to send him a meme I have to check myself first.
truly the only thing that has disturbed my peace in this whole experience is the movie Dracula (1992)— which I will go into at a later date.
I will say that the Femcel experiment is not for everyone— but if you have relationship trauma which impedes your dating discernment, I recommend giving it a shot.
I have decided to further extend my celibacy until I can confidently understand what I want in a relationship, both from myself and for myself. but for now, I can confidently and simply say, I am looking for More.
once again, getting what I want requires great determination and fortitude, and I am willing to sacrifice whatever I need to, to give it to myself.
May 1, 2024
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đź‘Ľ
best friend and i were yapping about how important it is to actually be celibate for a while and maybe even not date for a bit when you're single instead of hooking up until you find a partner. it sucks for a little bit and you are really forced to confront your demons and then one day you forget about it. whatever floats your boat but i think it's probably good for the soul to be celibate here and there and focus on other shit. i'll go like a whole year like it's nobody's business
Jan 27, 2024
♥️
I’ve been single for a year and a half now and have recently had a massive breakthrough with it all. I spent a while deeply brainwashed by the horrific dating advice on Tik Tok which stipulates things like “if the first date isn’t a dinner date then he basically views you as a saloon whore” or “unless you drop into your soft feminine energy, you deserve an entire life alone, you toothless witch.” I don’t want to do either of those things. What the fuck is soft feminine energy? I want to focus on work and make videos that make people laugh and write and spend time with friends and eat and drink wine (see above) without being haunted by the viral refrain “If he wanted to, he would.” Who cares? I like meeting guys out and about! Maybe grabbing drinks. Having crushes. Flirting. Enjoying them. But I will never again sit through a Tik Tok titled “subtle ways to make him addicted to you” or “how to become a high value woman who is a prize to be won.” ENOUGH.
Sep 1, 2023
đź’Ş
This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship that’s ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now I’m 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again
Some of the (many) things that worked for me:
- Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (I’m not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think you’re ready, it’s possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever.
- On a related note, therapy was very needed!
- Start a new, group hobby where you’ll see the same people each week. Not that you’ll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and it’s exciting to have something new in your life that isn’t tied to success on a dating app.
- Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isn’t yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you you’ll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it).
Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ❤️
Apr 1, 2024
Top Recs from @grbge_grl
I prefer venison or bison as opposed to beef because I believe red meat makes my brain function better (as someone who has various mineral deficiencies) but I don’t want to eat beef because I’m tired of it.
I also am allergic to cow dairy so I wonder if there is something to be said for taking an all around break from cows.
This week, I made a venison and oyster-mushroom curry with smoked cardamon rice, sheep’s milk raita, and cilantro sprouts ♥️
Jan 21, 2024
đź‘™
it may seem like a simple concept but it actually takes great dedication and discipline.
Feb 6, 2024
recently I haven't really had time to read a book from back to front, but I like reading and it makes me feel AND look smart. plus then if my phone dies or I don't want everyone to see how cracked my screen is, I can just start at any point in the book.
recently it has been "The Birth of Tragedy" by Nietzsche, which I originally read during my post-grad but now enjoy reading more like a self help book.
here is another example of me doing this:
Jan 5, 2024