when I was a teenager, I burned all my journals because I didnāt want anyone knowing my thoughts. Or it was just to fit my dramatic emo aesthetic. Either way, Iām sad to not be able to look back on those times. Little me could have used empathetic older me.
Iāve kept all of my journals since. Some of them are really hard to look back on and bring me back to really dark times in my life. I like having them available to me though. I like to imagine my kids or my grandkids reading through them someday and understanding me as a whole human, not just as mother or grandmother.
I tend to write a lot more when Iām sad or depressed, so Iāve been working on writing during the good times too.
Jun 6, 2024
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I was cleaning today and stumbled upon journals from 8-10 years ago. Iām so grateful that I kept them because they are a reminder of how much Iāve grown, the many lives Iāve lived, and the people that have come and gone.
a side note is that I wasnāt particularly fond of the prose lol
Aug 17, 2024
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I love putting my feelings on paper, it helps me to know that theyāre real. Plus, I have way too many thoughts, I canāt hold all that in my head. Some things are best left in a notebook than in the body. I have an incredibly warped sense of time, so I sometimes reread journals to remind myself of what has happened in my life. And wow, thereās nothing more powerful than a preteenās unbridled emotions and Ashley you will pay for what you did in the 5th grade.Ā If I die and someone finds all of my journals please publish them, thereās some good tea in there and Iām not afraid of burning bridges in the afterlife.Ā Get a good pen, find a nice notebook, and put it all down.
Oct 27, 2023
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Sometimes painful and not for everyone, but goddamn sometimes it feels good to know what youāve overcome. A HUGE practice in being kind to all versions of yourself, past and present. I sometimes annotate my old ones in the margins, give myself a little āgood luck.ā
May 24, 2024
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May 31, 2025
In Tarot, The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, which represents the life cycle.Ā These cycles we are continuously going through in our lives, not just once.Ā The final card of the Major Arcana is The World (which I have tattooed very large on my thigh), which signifies the completion of a cycle and natural ascension into the next.Ā We are then thrust back into the Fool, with a bit more wisdom.
The Fool as an archetype is one of joy, curiosity, spontaneity, and trust.Ā The Fool is pure of heart, knowing that the Universe has got their back.Ā This innate trust allows The Fool to be playful, to take risks, and truly believe everything will work out.Ā The more we go through life and experience loss, grief, heartache, trauma, the harder it becomes to embrace this energy.Ā Iāve found that as healing goes on, just as itās shown in tarot, we return to this natural state of being.Ā We start off as The Fool when we are wee little babies, and if we are lucky can return there a few cycles at a time, with more wisdom gained each time.Ā Ā
The goal of The Fool is to have positive experiences, maybe for fun, maybe to grow.Ā There is an acceptance with The Fool, a kind of āthis is what is, how can I make this work well for me?ā Everything works out for The Fool because they donāt know it canāt. Anything we go through in life, we can use to grow.Ā I personally believe we all could benefit embracing the archetypal energy of The Fool a bit more.Ā The Fool doesnāt stop to worry what other people will think!Ā The Fool does not fret about what ifās!Ā The Fool is in the moment!
Jun 1, 2025
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Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE š
Apr 24, 2025