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Last year I had a brutal crush and confessed like 3 months after meeting her. Rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater, she was polite and kind yet firm about the necessity of me killing my feelings, as she still wanted me around but just as a friend.
I can't say that it was easy for me to get over those feelings as I was very much in a state of limerence, but I knew that she was worth having in my life, even if it wasn't in my idealized form.
Fast forward to now and we are best friends and deeply important people for each other. I'm so grateful to her for not throwing the baby out with the bathwater when I confessed, and leaving the ball in my court. Getting over those feelings was worth it ten times over, and what I thought was love for her last year is incomparable to the platonic love we have for each other now.
Jun 8, 2024
Related Recs
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i had an insane crush in 2019 on my friend and i completely lost my head it got pretty unhealthy at one point especially after she started dating this other dude so i had a talk with her and we both were like we want to be in eachothers lives for sure but i had to be like this as is does not work i can’t hear about your relationship problems while i feel like this. didn’t talk to her much for about a month or so and then i went to new york and we hung out it was great and normal and now im great friends with both her and that guy, she’s still with him. can’t even imagine seeing her through a romantic lens anymore. every time we are in the same place we see each other and it’s always just so lovely
but yeah all that to say i think just have to have a super honest conversation where you draw boundaries clearly and figure out where to go from there what both of you need etc
Jun 10, 2024
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first and foremost, you definitely shouldn’t stop talking about it, if that’s what you want to do. if something is on your mind and you want to express it, i feel like the harmful thing to do would be to bottle it up! just keep talking about it as much as you feel you need to and i can guarantee you that, over time, it’ll plague you less and less. eventually it’ll just become another aspect of your life you‘ve successfully grown and learned from!
my advice re: getting back out there is to simply take it slow. be observant for any red flags that you think could be indicative of a larger issue. also, make your core values clear from day 1! if someone really wants to be in your life, they’ll make it clear that they hold similar values :)
also, be sure to set your boundaries. be honest about your past and let them know that you’re still healing from it. any genuinely empathetic human being will internalize what you shared with them and be understanding!
overall, i’d urge you to remember that most people are not like your ex; most people want to cultivate healthy and loving relationships! i can’t imagine what you’ve had to endure - but thankfully you get to go out there and meet the person who deserves your love !! it’s super exciting !! woo!!!!
best of luck ☺️
Apr 1, 2024
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whether it's someone you met under through dating, or a platonic friend who doesn't reciprocate your feelings beyond that, there's something about that person that drew you to them and attracted your attention and affection that resulted in you being infatuated regardless of whether or not they reciprocate
the important things is identifying that something and seeking it out in other relationships; what it that they made you feel? seen? secure? appreciated? was it physical beauty or creativity or sense of humor? no qualities are unique to any individual, a lot of qualities are actually social in nature and cultivated over the course of a relationship. it's easy to get over your feelings not being returned when you realize that there isn't a scarcity around the kinds of relationships you can have and the people you can have them with, and that your search continues rather than it having ended in "failure"
above all else, orienting towards gratitude that you got to have that experience and what you learned about yourself through the process instead of the negative feelings associated with rejection, because rejection largely stings because of perceived scarcity. the thing that's often unsaid but felt is "i don't want to find someone else; it would be so much easier if this person just liked me back" or some permutation. but as long as you live and breathe there are others out there for you to love and be loved by, and maybe some of them will be romantic partners but none of them have to be "the one who got away" unless you put them on that pedestal and only relate to them and yourself from that vantage point
Feb 1, 2025
Top Recs from @kevvymetal
How can you not be entranced and spellbound by her brilliant gaze?
Sep 10, 2024
think about it...
incredibly nutritious, more vitamin c than oranges (!!)
widely available and affordable
so easy to prepare, you can literally steam them in the microwave
and delicious! esp when roasted, i linked an easy recipe :)
plus they look like cute little trees and you can pretend that you're a brachiosaurus or some shit munching on them greens
straight up goated vegetable
Mar 5, 2024
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I filed a complaint with a bunch of receipts to my city's rent board last month after my landlord notified me of another increase, and turns out she was in violation of increasing rent within 12 months following a previous rent increase
The city just told my landlord to reimburse me the excess rent, and my current rent must remain in place until next March for her to be in compliance (she wanted to raise it another 10% in October lol)
Jul 29, 2024