I quit smoking maybe a decade ago, and I was having a really hard time. A friend asked, āI wonder whatās underneath that?ā And being the little emotional explorer I am that really drove me to give it a fair shot. For me, smoking was a way to suppress all of my emotions. When you think about it, when you are smoking, you are taking nice deep breaths. Very regulating!
When I first quit, I was an emotional mess. It was new to me, and I felt ridiculous, but it passed quickly. I had to learn new ways of emotionally regulating. I also chewed a piece of gum every time I wanted a cigarette. I became sort of addicted to gum for a while, but that also faded.
A big part of smoking for me was that it was an intentional way to cause harm to myself. I knew that it was bad and I liked the way that it felt. I had to do a lot of psychological and emotional work to unlearn that self harming drive. So, mentally I was also telling myself that this was a loving thing for me to do and that I deserved to take care of my body and be healthy.
Thereās lots of logical ways to help you quit, but like all addictions thereās an emotional component to it. Discover what that is for you and treat the root issue! Good luck!
Jun 18, 2024
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Ever since I quit nicotine I don't deprive myself of a cigarette when I feel like I really need it. So it hits different, because when my emotional state is low all it takes is a cig break to feel like I'm confronting whatever it is that's weighing me down. This system is fool-proof. Sometimes I think I'm low enough for a cigarette then decide I'm not quite sad enough. So when I do smoke it's because I'm crying & absolutely losing it. Because my smoke breaks are spontaneous, I can't quite plan for them, leading to unfinished packs & a plethora of lighters. Funny enough, each lighter coincides with whatever was making me feel awful that day making it a journal of sorts for my feelings. My fav is the "take me with you" lighter because well.. I really related to that when I bought it. There's also something really protagonist-y about walking into a gas station, eyes puffy & tears streaming down your face & asking for a pack of camel menthols ... oh & a swag lighter.
Sep 19, 2024
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Itās been 8 months since my last smoke, the longest Iāve gone in 12 years.Ā
Some unconventional tips:
- being delusional is effective. I tell myself cigarettes are bad luck. If I smoke one, something bad will happen.
- My relationship to cigarettes was spiritual, every single one was a little prayer. To fill the gap, I leaned into woo: candles, tarot, talking to god.
- Cigs were my edge, but they numbed me. To keep that rebellion alive, I leaned into things that scared me: fashion choices, challenging long held values, leaning into my queerness, wasting time.Ā
- Somatic release. Shake your leg, wring your hands, go to the gym. Also, going to the gym gets a lot easier when you make the conscious choice to not hate on the bros or influencers.. everyoneās trying to find their place. Love > Snark
- It only gets easier if you know exactly WHY you want to smoke in the first place, and address the root causes with mindset or lifestyle changes. Quitting cold turkey without change is not enough.
Tag: nicotine quit smoking
Jun 5, 2025
I have a vivid memory of being 18 years old, my parents just moved me across the country into my dorm, and as I watched their car turn a corner away from view, I pulled out a pack of Gauloises and lit up. I was a woman now. I loved smoking, I was never a heavy smoker, but I always wanted to keep it light enough so that it could forever be in my life. Anyway, years later there was a pandemic/heart break/lots of life changes and the idea of long term planning (staying alive/having nice skin) flew out the window for me and cigarettes took a much bigger role in my life and that freaked me out. So I read the same stupid book that everyone does, I rolled my eyes the whole time thinking NO WAY and then I finished the book and was freed. Last page done = no desire for another cigarette again. Probably itās a form of hypnosis, and an essential element is being ready to say goodbye, but if you ARE ready: The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr is some type of witchcraft. Also, Anthony Hopkins and Angelica Huston blurbed the edition I read, and I thought that was convincing evidence. They probably smoked a lot.
Jan 21, 2025
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May 31, 2025
In Tarot, The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, which represents the life cycle.Ā These cycles we are continuously going through in our lives, not just once.Ā The final card of the Major Arcana is The World (which I have tattooed very large on my thigh), which signifies the completion of a cycle and natural ascension into the next.Ā We are then thrust back into the Fool, with a bit more wisdom.
The Fool as an archetype is one of joy, curiosity, spontaneity, and trust.Ā The Fool is pure of heart, knowing that the Universe has got their back.Ā This innate trust allows The Fool to be playful, to take risks, and truly believe everything will work out.Ā The more we go through life and experience loss, grief, heartache, trauma, the harder it becomes to embrace this energy.Ā Iāve found that as healing goes on, just as itās shown in tarot, we return to this natural state of being.Ā We start off as The Fool when we are wee little babies, and if we are lucky can return there a few cycles at a time, with more wisdom gained each time.Ā Ā
The goal of The Fool is to have positive experiences, maybe for fun, maybe to grow.Ā There is an acceptance with The Fool, a kind of āthis is what is, how can I make this work well for me?ā Everything works out for The Fool because they donāt know it canāt. Anything we go through in life, we can use to grow.Ā I personally believe we all could benefit embracing the archetypal energy of The Fool a bit more.Ā The Fool doesnāt stop to worry what other people will think!Ā The Fool does not fret about what ifās!Ā The Fool is in the moment!
Jun 1, 2025
š
Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE š
Apr 24, 2025