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curate your wardrobe slowly

In the years of 2020-2023, I was in my early 20s and very much in between aesthetics. I hated the clothes I wore, and was looking for new ways to express myself through my fashion. With the seemingly never slowing down trend cycle that was going at the speed of light at that time, and my tiny paychecks, I basically solely relied on Shein to allow me some freedom and creativity with my style. For a few years, I was stuck in the repeated cycle of ordering 50+ cheap items, and then donating 10-20 of them within the same year, and repeating that again when I would get bored of what I had. I would go thrifting too to try and "balance out" my fast fashion endeavors, but would end up buying more things that I hated by the time I got home. I could not figure out how to make any of these items work with my wardrobe, regardless if they were new or used. This reckless consumerism taught me absolutely nothing about my sense of style. I had to figure out the hard way that style is not something you acquire overnight, and that you cannot always rely on trends to find items you will like for a lifetime. Fast fashion has done nothing but taught us to cycle through clothing at a rate where no one can keep up, and has left many of us in a place where we are only satisfied with how we dress for no longer than a few months at a time. Discovering your personal style is one of the things that should take time. I'm 25 now, and I find it very important to source good quality items that I know will be a staple in my wardrobe for a long long time. I've decided that if I want to buy new clothing, I will get most of my new clothes from thrift/vintage shops and boutiques (online or in person). I haven't completely shuttered out fast fashion, though. I only buy items that I am able to try on in person to make sure it is made with good material (aka: the plain $10 Walmart zip-up hoodies that feel like butter). By embracing a slower approach to finding my personal style, I've found quite a few key items that I really love to wear over the past two years, and in turn I have greatly reduced the amount of clothing that gets donated. I am still learning how to accessorize, and am trying my best to utilize as much of my existing closet as possible. It is a journey! I can't wait to see where my more sustainable approach to a style journey brings me! QUALITY > QUANTITY

@starlet

Feb 12, 2025

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textiles, fit and colour

Longer than it probably should be for me to explain this but I love discussing this stuff: Whether I am thrifting or getting something brand new, it is important to me that the fabric feels good against my skin, that it either fits how I would like or I could do minor adjustments on my own, and I need to like the colours. Whilst I have had a style evolution, its more so in how I express my tastes than the contents of them. I have always liked some variety to the textures of the fabrics that I wear, I love unusual colours and fun prints, and I look for silhouettes that are sharp. My style is basically eccentric librarian which aligns with both my tastes and my lifestyle so during the day to day I wear a lot of button downs, blazers, and heels, with a lot of the prints being stripes, tartans made out of a lot of wool, corduroy and cotton. When I am more casual there is a lot of jeans, well fitting t-shirts, flowy dresses and minis, this is when I tend to be more playful with silhouette. I tend to wait for items to go on sale because given my tastes, the clothes that I want tend to be unpopular because people think that they would be difficult to style, or would stick out in their wardrobe. Strategically I also go to the "bargain bin" at thrift markets for the same reason lol. After the sales/bargain I will see if theres anything on my mental list that I want, and I will just try on the things that catch my eye. Then if I want accessories I look at sterling silver pieces and vintage ties and scarves. I get a lot of my shoes from my older sisters' wardrobes (and tbh a lot of other clothes, we are close like that) but if I buy them they tend to be in line with a pair I had and wore until they fell apart. Then when I have my things I try them on one last time, make sure they are within budget and get them. My rule is no impulse buys. If I want to buy, I save and make a list with the date that I will go get the thing. I mull over it and think about why I want it in my wardrobe and then I get it. Style icons for me are Mary Quant, Myha'la, Cree Summer and Robin Williams. And I'd say the fashion journalists/bloggers/commentators/educators that I keep up with are Derek Guy, Lakyn Carlton and Cora Harrington.

@ngaatee

Sep 13, 2024

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Ebay. Fromjapan. Instagram.

1. Look at lots of inspo and break down why you like those fits. Think drape, color, material, etc. be specific af. 2. Pick 3 adjectives to describe your style. You can think of it as what that type of person would wear, or maybe the vibe of the clothes themselves i.e. artsy, architectural, outdoorsy. 3. Look at what you already like wear. What feels like you? Do deep dives (secondhand 🔥) to find interesting pieces. e.g. Ivy is cool af but I really just wanna wear trail runners and fleeces. Who is doing that well rn, or was doing that in the past? 4. Keep it small. Hot or cool institute put out a paper a bit back that said keep it to 85 pieces (including shoes but not accessories) if you live in a 4 season climate. Theres creativity in constraint, and as a plus, it keeps you from buying a bunch of stuff you don’t really vibe with.

@wiggsde

Feb 9, 2024

Top Recs from @nadiyaelyse

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You are only mundane to yourself because you are so familiar— to everyone else you are new

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise. So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years. Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own. It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media. All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too. Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 19, 2024

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transparency is not the same as intimacy

This was really impactful for me; the analogy is, your life/your heart is a room (or an apartment, a space, etc) and relationships are all about inviting people into that room. Intimacy is letting them into the room and knowing that they might touch stuff, move furniture around, or change the way you’ve laid the room out. Transparency is letting people see the room, but keeping a glass between them and the space— they can see, but not touch. I think relationally we all have impulses toward transparency instead of intimacy, and it’s easy to say “I let you look at my room, that was intimacy,” while maintaining the glass that separates people from the room. Be intimate! Let people pick up the tchotchkes in your heart and move the furniture.

@nadiyaelyse

May 28, 2024

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Let it die

I like to let my phone die— I often don’t charge it overnight, and try not to plug it in during the day. If you’re able to access work/school through only your laptop, let your phone die, or leave it on the plug in another room. I also delete most apps from my phone for periods of weeks, and minimally use social media— if this works for you, it can feel very liberating, and makes me feel much less constantly accessible (which I think is a good thing). Something that helps me is thinking about the flattening of correspondence; before social media, if you wanted to communicate to a friend, it was one-on-one— you might write a letter, or call, or email, but what you were doing was conversational and relational. When we use social media, we flatten a lot of individual relationships into one relationship between us and our “audience.” Instead of sharing a thought or comment intended for one person, and designed for them to reply and continue the correspondence, we put out press releases on our own lives: “this is what I had for breakfast,” “this is a meme about my mental health,” and we become part of a passive audience in our friend’s lives. We end up feeling like we’ve just seen our friends, because we’re “viewing” their lives, but actually apps leave us feeling very isolated and anti-social. Try deleting your most used social media apps, and also schedule a walk/movie night/coffee with a friend. Outside of radical deletion, pick an audio book to listen to, and pair it with a hands on/tactile activity: you could load the dishwasher, or draw, or try embroidery.

@nadiyaelyse

Jul 29, 2024