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I told this gargoyle today how I really felt about them and the release it gave me was otherworldly.
I’m working on expressing my feelings more, kind of living like it’s your last day on earth.
Telling boys that I think are beautiful, that they are, out loud.
I’ve often regretted not saying exactly how I feel in so many crucial moments throughout my life.
I just realized the other day that I actually deserve to get what I want out of this world, crazy concept for me to grasp.
Jul 2, 2024
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During every season of change, I get so caught up in the muck, fuck-up and duck of it. My thoughts start reflecting these rush-hour based beliefs (I should’ve gotten more done, I’m not doing enough).
after an honest therapy session yesterday, I realized that the root of a lot of my recent heartaches are from the way I speak about myself, think about myself. Instead of considering how hard I work, how much I try, I‘ve been pouring pebbles into my soup and wondering why it was so hard to eat. In other words: I’m real mean to myself.
I’ve attached what this open book page can be, and I just come write a little note on it whenever I return from my journey from the outside world. It feels nice to be nice, truly.
I have no timeline to finish this, no minimum level of detail I need to explain my actions. It’s going to be very sweet to reflect with every version of myself who paused, took off her coat, picked a coloured pen, and appreciated what she is, who she’s becoming.
Feb 7, 2025
I completely and utterly ruined my sleep schedule rather than fixing it this summer, which unfortunately goes against my goals. However I'm learning that not everything is a dire situation, life and death, and in that I can breathe.
To just be. That I can just exist; I don't have to be a prodigy at a certain something rather learn to sit and take a step back to assess. I had a stressful junior year especially in April, I've dug myself in a pit I've recently gotten out of.
I constantly have to remind myself that I will always have room for growth and an unmet goal doesn't equate to failure. The lenience I give myself after such a long time is thanks to my boyfriend, and I'm happy with everything he's taught me. Its been philosophy, love that is patient and gentle, Marty Robbins, being open about my passion or disdain, support. Some are things I've either hated or disliked yet I find myself smiling and paying attention because I love him dearly, and with that I show support and interests he adores.
I'm seeing him again tomorrow, and I'm super excited. We're going to buy things for an upcoming trip later this month, and its going to be our first time traveling out of the city together and having a roadtrip. He's going to make me partake in playing at a water pit, but I'll oblige because if there's anything I've learned it's that life is too short to not do anything.
He also told me that he's going to get me a sketchbook specifically for outings and dates, which is an idea he brought up at our last outing a couple of days ago. I've never been super proud of my artwork, but with him I want you try, at least see why he loves what I create. He's always super happy when I draw or sketch something for him, so that's something I'll do more often when I can.
That's another thing, I don't feel guilty anymore when he insists on buying and gifting things, taking me places; he spoils and indulges my whims and wants. It's sweet, truly, and I always find myself wondering how I got so lucky.
2d ago
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if I’m in a place (emotionally) where I can open myself up to it, I love feeling myself stepping into the flow of life. things start to connect. ideas finally come together. it happened the other day with my writing. i woke up knowing I needed to change the tone at the end of one my scripts and felt strongly it should involve a helium balloon. a few hours later I went to a cinema to work with my sister and way up on the third floor looking onto leceister square I saw a blue heart shaped balloon floating through the sky 💙
Jan 27, 2024
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real confidence booster (unless of course you’re a man)
Jun 30, 2024
🫀
only up from here, right?
Jul 28, 2024
🎶
an authentic bitch
Jun 1, 2024