letās just go down the line
1. my parents almost named me āastridā but my mother hated it so now iām carina. i do think i couldāve pulled it off but itās not their fault they didnāt know i was going to be a tall alt girl with cunty looks. astrid now exists as my alter egoā¦ and she has her own lore as well
2. in high school i was a dedicated theater kid, and during my senior year i was involved in not one, but two productions of legally blonde the musical. the first round (at my local community theater) my good friend beat me out as elle to my own personal disappointment, but it did not deter me from being an all star sorority sister/lawyer/convict/extra etc. during our closing week, my high school announced we would be doing legally blonde as the senior musical. i essentially told the director she WOULD be casting me as elle and i would barely need rehearsal as i was born with this soundtrack in my veins and had the entire script memorized already. she didnāt like my attitude but cast me anyway as i was clearly born for the role. now iām a pop star so.. it tracks. and yes itās on youtube and i canāt remember my login itās stuck there forever
3. there is lore in every one of my breakups, no matter how large or small a role they played in my life. after a two month situationship ghosted me in 2018 i went fully batshit and i believe it launched my journey as an artist today, sparking a photo series of self-portraits reflecting on the complexities of being a multi-dimensional woman in the age of online dating. since then my art and my life have continued to mirror each other in a cheeky dance that i am sure some larger force above is pulling the strings on, and laughing with me in delight. oh how divine to be in such comedic dialogue with the universe! oh to be an artist!
4. i also did acapella in college and there is a LOT of proof because in a way that is very on brand for me, our group just smoked a lot of weed and made music videos with the film students. great times
Jul 7, 2024
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Iām a 30 year old UX designer from the northeast. I have a husband and daughter, and Iāve finally reached the part of life where if I died doing something stupid, people would say, āShe died too soonā but also, āShould have known betterā.
I like art and making things without the pressure to complete them or have them be meaningful. The older I get, the more I want to keep my interests and accomplishments to myself because I have a secret fear of judgement and rejection.
(Just kidding itās not a secret!)
Iāve been a tarot reader for five years, and I believe in ghosts mostly when itās incredibly inconvenient for myself.
I have the same big three as Megan Fox and Queen Elizabeth II - Iām thinking of starting a group chat!
Iām trying to learn to let go of things that I canāt control, bus also acknowledge that itās fucking hard.
I may be borderline depressed, but hey, at least I have a patent pending and vaguely remember how to quilt and blow glass.
I used to be a ferret queen, and a yoga girlie, and a bouldering babe, but now Iām firmly a couch rot mom. One day Iāll crawl out of my chrysalis and emerge ready to give a ted talk on how the divine fabric of reality is woven into the tapestry of all our lives, but today is not that day.
Feb 28, 2025
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I was born in a tiny town right outside of the Montana badlands two weeks before the turn of the century, one week before Christmas, and a week after my only sibling's birthday. I grew up in the middle of North Dakota, in a town big enough to have all the popular chain restaurants, but small enough where the only fun things to do with your friends was cruise around town and smoke by the river. I spent my childhood running around our neighborhood with the neighbor kids, and making YouTube videos with my sister and friends in the very early days of that site.
I've had a very complicated relationship with my family past elementary school, due to the fact that I had untreated ADHD and was always a bit of a troublemaker. My parents just didn't have a clue on what to do with me, to the point that they had considered sending me off to a boarding/reform school a time or two. I moved three hours away the second I graduated, and have been inching further east ever since. I didn't go to college, as I barely got through high school without flunking.
In my 7 years of adulthood so far, I've worn many hats. From working as a barista, to a waitress at a sushi place, to selling and making mattresses (I made the mattress i sleep on), to being a receptionist at a barbershop, and currently being the front desk girl at a tattoo shop, I never know what job is coming next for me.
I have a cat named Pooky, a beautiful fluffy grey and white tuxedo cat, that I can't help talk about all the time. He's just the best. I've lived with my cousin/best friend Aly, and her sassy cat Chloe, since 2018. We go to a lot of concerts, and almost always get to the barricade if we are in the pit. I talk a lottt. I have a stockpile of random information about musicians and history that I love to share with people. I love MCR. I thrive in the spring and autumn, weed gives me anxiety, I pronounce caramel like care-a-mel, have a slightly crippling fear of wasps and heights, and have recently gotten into crafts with my buddies. My 2007 Impala has 230,000 miles on it and I plan on driving it until it breaks down for good. And that's pretty much the basics.
Feb 28, 2025
š
working from what may seem like very surface level cliches but stay w me here
((tldr: why not just believe that its all working out for the better, even if thats not what you planned? also, empathy and objectivity are a solid duo that id like to see in combination more frequently.))
putting this at the top because this is a dissertation, at best; psychosis, at the other end of the pendulum.
sooooooo the fact that u have no control over life liek At All. has been a consistently terrifying concept for FOREVER as a shorty who is Clinically a control freak, but realizing that the unpredictable essence that makes all of this shit unnerving is the very thing that can take the weight of life off of your shoulders has been pretty revolutionary.
im still digesting/integrating it one bite at a time, for sure, so call me a hypocrite ESPECIALLY if you know me personally. when in clarity, though, its been so pleasant to realize that since Nothing truly matters that much since nothing is set in stone anyway- w regard to action, approach, fulfilling temporary expectations of yourself, whether or not you reach short term goals, etc.- living life completely and utterly for yourself and whatever that means to you at any given moment will likely ultimately be the plan that brings you most fulfillment, when all is said and done.
whether that means taking the risk and changing your major, taking that freaky elective bc it sounds cool, moving in w some randos in a townhouse, quitting your job and starting something new- maybe it winds up being an epic fail, who knows? as long as youre setting goals that align with an ultimate sense of who you are and what youre looking to get out of life, which i presume can be solidified further by pursuing said experiences just for the sake of it? right? helps u figure out what u actually want? and as long as you keep bareback essential priorities straight (financial and emotional stability come to mind), then theres no reason for impermanence to work against you.
this also counts for people, as well. i feel like we hold others to critical standards, as we should, but contemporarily tend to neglect the fact that people DO change. morals/how you view the world are impacted by experience, and we are all fruits of very very different trees. completely dependent on circumstance, of course, empathy/understanding/consequential second chances are side-swept under the premise of respect/accountability. accountability is CRUCIAL, but i feel like so many of us (myself included) take that to heart and forget that figuring out how someone got to some place is a key aspect of understanding whether or not their position was truly from a place of lack of respect? if that makes any sense??
i also have been thinking about this a lot: my best friend throughout middle school and i fell out the summer before sophomore year overā¦nothing? idk, 3 years of seeing each other every single day (neighbors) to no contact until senior of high school- still werenāt talking regularly or anything though.
2 years ago, she turned 20. i posted an old photo of us because, despite everything, 20ās a big one.
this year, weāve spent late nights on facetime, drove to watch the sunrise after hours of catching up on god knows what on the hill where we would listen to music while her mom cooked dinner, and sheās been my go to for any necessary bitching/ranting during whats been the worst year my mental health has ever seen??
time is your friend, if you let it be. connections arent a race in any dynamic, and itās never over if itās truly meant to happen.
let life change. i think.
Dec 5, 2024
Top Recs from @rlyblonde
plugging myself because obviouslyā¦
if you are an overthinker, party girl, have fire sign placements and/or anxiety, enjoy liz phair, olivia rodrigo, sheryl crow, or the strokesā¦. perhaps give it a whirl. it has found itās way to many āsummer 24ā playlists and that makes me smile :) there is also a very funny music video on youtube. thanks all music lovers for considering
Jun 28, 2024
there is nothing better than a solo date to see a band you love. no shouting over the crowd to your date, freedom to dance as crazy as you want, peak people-watching. get as drunk as you want, who cares. talk to a stranger or donāt. tip the bartender and merch person, befriend the bouncer. you are the main character when you are on an adventure with yourself. who knows you better than youā¦? music is so euphoric and transformative, i will always cherish my solo concerts
Sep 12, 2024
how has no one said this one yet? chappell is winning music right now and this tiny desk certainly was part of that. between the stripped down live arrangements, matching pink band outfits, comedic personality in between songs, the wig (insane), and her VOICEā¦.truly this performance is beyond i could watch it a million times
Jul 2, 2024