the best way to get over FOMO for me was to remember that i'm living my life for me and that the best way to do that is to take care of myself even when that's not the most fun option. in college, i would always struggle to stay home when my friends were going out even if i was really tired or had a lot of work to do. i would go to the party that was never as good as i told myself it would be and then be exhausted the next day or behind. and that lack of sleep and procrastination would just compound over time.
there was always going to be another party, but not another due date.
there was always going to be another party, but not another day to sleep in.
parties and fun events will always be there. your health and mental wellbeing is not something that should be gambled on something that will never go away.
right now you have covid and it must suck because it's not that you don't want to go but that you literally can't. but right now, you're not only doing what's best for you but also for others. you are replenishing your energy, you are recovering, and that is extremely important! i think sometimes we take our health for granted but it is truly a privilege! you aren't missing out for no reason. you're actively taking care of yourself and your community.
speaking of other people, you have no idea if you would've even enjoyed the event. there have been so many times that i have been with people at parties that were lame, boring, or just unpleasantly crowded. and those same people i was with, would post about it like it was the best night of their lives. if i had only seen it on social media, i would've thought i missed out on so much. but i was there! and it sucked! people only post their highlights and they are incredibly unreliable.
you know only know what you know. you can only build upon certainties, so there's no point in guessing or engaging in hypotheticals because the possibility of you having fun vs not having fun is equally likely and a pure unknown! it's a waste of time to wonder. instead, focus on what you do know and make the best of the things you can do that you know you enjoy!
whether it's catching up on movies, books, games, long phone calls with long distance friends, trying new recipes, making a really specific spotify playlist, adding a million pins to your pinterest boards, playing games, binging a tv show, redecorating your room, etc etc.
so TLDR:
- your health and mental well being over everything
- there's always going to be another party
- social media is inaccurate
- you know what you enjoy, so focus your time on doing the things you know for sure will make you happy.
*bonus suggestion*: i've been playing a LOT of sudoku and i think it's a good way to entertain yourself that doesn't require a lot of physical expenditure and isn't just mindlessly scrolling.
i hope you feel better soon!! <333
Jul 18, 2024
Related Recs
I really struggled with all the unstructured time post-grad and my body totally flipped like what do you MEAN I have nothing to do and if I do nothing, nothing will happen? This rec is annoying, but as a skilled layabout, it really helped me overcome the whole “what do I do all day” thing and also the “why am I falling asleep at 3 AM and waking up at noon?” thing to make a loose schedule and try to adhere. If you’re applying for jobs, school, or even just pondering what to do next, think about:
At what time during the day do I feel most awake and alive? Then, block out like four hours around that window. I try to do 90 minutes of focused work at a time with like 60 minutes between for chilling. So, if you can start with two little blocks of working on applications or doing some intentional, focused pondering, great. Gradually, you can increase the amount of work if you want.
Then, plan the rest of your day around things you need and want to do - move your bod, eat, socialize. Things like talking a short walk in the morning to get some sunlight, going to the movies, and calling friends, lighten me up! Keep it simple babe!
Post-grad, I laid on a couch for three months in stay at home girlfriend mode totally consumed by fear. I asked a lot of older people how they figured things out and they told me that nobody ever does. I like to do some meditations on intention and listening to yourself (linked). And I agree with capyboppy...try to stay present and pay attention to what you got going on right now! The weight of future is heavy becuase you probably want your life to be sick and meaningful….and that’s cool.
Jun 11, 2024
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once I realized that most days I spent entirely at home made me feel awful when they should make me feel rested, I started making a point of getting out of the house on days where I have nothing planned. you can really go anywhere as long as it's a place that you're comfortable and can waste some time in. I would usually go to a coffee shop and do homework/browse the web on my laptop, which I could just as easily do at home but it felt better than doing it there because I actually had to get up, get ready, get outside, and interact with people even if minimally. it just helped me stay grounded.
nowadays if i have to stay home I make a point to force myself to get up at a normal time (sleeping until past noon will make you feel like you can't do anything because it's already so late you migh as well just stay in) and do something creative, usually that helps the time fly if you get engrossed in it for a while. having a hobby is a great timesink that actually feels productive.
if the weather is nice, just go outside and take it in. if you can walk around your part of town, just putting on music an meandering can be a good way to get familiar with your area or find something new to try. I'm a fan of biking so if there's a pedestrian trail in your city just get on and ride. I've found that putting on music and going at a chill pace I can end up wasting hours taking in the sights and vibing and actually get some excercise too.
in general, moving around and getting out are huge. you don't even need to be doing anything ""productive"". but if you must stay inside, get out of the bedroom and find an activity you can get lost in for a while, stimulate your mind a bit.
May 6, 2024
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Obviously we’re all so different, but that also means it’s hard to give advice because how we process stress / how it manifests physically / how we soothe it can vary so much from person to person, and even season to season. I’ve learned to take advice and TRY EVERYTHING until I find what works for me. In my experience it’s better to try 10 different things to weed out what works for you than to pick & choose what you think will work. Just try whatever is feasible from what we recommend!
Okay, rec time:
Microdose gummies were a huge help for me in certain seasons. I am not a person that wants to get high; I don’t have anything against it, just don’t do it myself. The microdose is so so so low that you don’t feel it. If anything, the ones I took felt like a light melatonin feeling. Helped me calm down a lot and often helped me sleep.
Baths were huge in certain seasons. Add some salt, dim the lights, play some ambient sounds or your fav calm album, and fully submerge into the void.
Long drives are how I make sense of life‘s puzzles. I often take the long way home if I think the extra time will help me arrive at a calmer state. I always find myself enjoying the local traffic, getting to really look at my surroundings, using red lights to breathe and refocus my thoughts.
3 practical things that are relatively easy to do. I think anxiety / stress rob you of your time and energy. I’ve spent so much of my life under stress only to get through the very thing that stressed me and realize that I had nothing to worry about. I lost days, weeks, maybe months to stress and anxiousness. At this point in my life I’m very aggressive about not living life with stress or anxiety in the drivers seat. It’s my life to enjoy and I only get one and I want as much of it as possible to be filled with joy / happiness / peace. Hope that helps! Sending you good thoughts + prayers + vibes.
Apr 10, 2024
Top Recs from @katialisa
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the idea that you can only fuck up and express and be beautiful and destructive and explorative and constructive in your youth is simply a myth. you are going to continue to fuck up and you are going to continue to blossom. there's no linear path and structure on that. even people in their 50's completely change their entire lives. nothing is fixed and there is no path to follow.
your life isn't over until it's over.
this narrative that once you start to age you can no longer explore and express is an oppressive, capitalist, and intentional one. also, it's just not true.
your responsibility doesn't have to be boring or restrictive. the reason why you become more responsible is because you actually care about yourself. irresponsibility isn't the same as freedom. irresponsibility can be "fun" but also destroys you. having more responsibilities to keep yourself safe and cared for isn't the antithesis to fun and life and expression.
your feelings make sense though. in college it's easier to meet people and try new things. but ease doesn't translate to quality or longevity or intrigue. but funny enough, there are 30 year olds now that probably feel the exact same way about you as you feel about the people slightly younger than you.
there is no such thing as free years in terms of spirit.
expression and exploration is available in all forms at all ages. there are always places to go, hikes to walk, friends to laugh with, mistakes to make, good food to eat, art to create, fights to have, things to fail at, lessons to be learned, and love to be felt.
you're only 23. you're about to enter a new chapter of your life where you will fuck up and you will have stories to tell, adventure to explore, feelings to express, and people to love. and that is something that will always be true.
Jul 11, 2024
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this is a 6 episode show thats more like a mini series. its directed by and starring phoebe waller bridge (fleabag). it's short, sweet, hilarious, and on netflix. highly recommend for wackiness and intrigue.
Jul 13, 2024