*and* from my late-30’s perspective—going through my own changes and second guessing myself—I simply must lol. 23 is so young. If I asked this question I’m sure someone in their 40’s/50’s would laugh too. Change is always daunting and it can be hard no matter what, but “too old” is fake. Do what you want to do, there are no rules!
Aug 5, 2024
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đź“…
you’re not in denial about your feelings! and you shouldn’t be because there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do especially because you want to change this train of thought.
i’m 26, lived a very sheltered life and would probably be what may be considered a “late bloomer”. couple that with only going to community college and graduating in the midst of lockdowns, i “lost” even more of my “younger years”. when i was 21-24, i definitely let those same emotions run their course on me. i used to get pretty upset even watching coming of age movies or watching college kids go about their day to day lives. i realized i didn’t want that feeling to run my life.
as harsh as it sounds, you just have to remind yourself that you cannot go back in time. you’ll waste more time wallowing than you will growing and learning and exploring, causing you to internalize these negative feelings more. go out and explore and make mistakes and make sure to surround yourself with people are accepting of the fleeting nature of life as well.
also, you have so much adulthood ahead of you. 23 is not much in the grand scheme of things. i’m sure there are people 20, 30, 40+ years older than you who haven’t worked through this thought process yet and are jealous of your youth. from where i stand right now, and based off those i know who are older than me, you never really stop learning how to be an adult.
all in all, there is no switch to turn off your emotions, so i know it’s easier said than done. 23 in general seems to be a rough year existentially for many, so just know you’re not alone, especially in the current cultural context. aging is a gift! so try to accept that gift gracefully by going easy on yourself.
Jul 11, 2024
🎂
Being in your 30s and 40s isn’t old as you probably picture. Now, if you have a family and a mortgage you’ll have more responsibilities. And your body might not be what it once was. But mentally, I don’t feel different. I completely forget I’m not the same age as people in their 20s when I interact with them.
To answer your question, I suggest sorting the things that you only can do when you have fewer responsibilities (traveling for a long stretch, moving to a new city, quitting your job, working out and exercising). Do those things now, and remember you can do a lot in the decades to come, too (e.g., I didn’t start going to concerts until I was 40)
(Also, I sincerely apologize to everyone in their 20s who is working their ass off just to get by!)
Nov 23, 2024
🎨
I’m about to turn 30 and idk if my 21 year old self would approve of where I’m at—but my 6 year old self sure as hell would!! I think a lot of life is finding your way back to Little You.
Being 21 is so so hard, and in college you’re first starting to see that you can’t judge your progress based on other people. Even though that’s how you were taught to judge yourself up until this point. The things you want now probably won’t matter to you in a few years, and for me that would have sounded terrifying at 21. But that doesn’t mean the things you want now aren’t important.
You can think of it in terms of tattoos. If you get a tattoo at 16 it’s not because you know it will represent you always and forever—it’s to commemorate a moment, a feeling of boldness you wanted to wear proudly. And down the line you don’t look at it with regret, but a softness for that younger part of you. Feel your feelings fully in this moment! Be bold with what you care about! Every age is special.
Practical advice:
Try to listen to your body and not your head. Do I actually like how I feel spending time with this person? Am I going through the motions of this hobby because I think it will service something else? Does xyz come naturally to me, or does it feel forced? No action needed. This exercise isn’t about flipping your life upside down, just take notice of how your body feels in certain situations. Start to notice when you’re in fight or flight versus happy and free. Find the ease and follow it
Jan 25, 2025
Top Recs from @Shadowbeni
a study issued last month found that dancing is the most effective way of treating and mitigating depression. Walking, therapy, and yoga also outpaced SSRIs. and if you're saying 'oh this was probably funded by Big Dance', there's no evidence of that and if you're saying 'that's just what a Big Dance shill would say', well honey you're right
Mar 4, 2024
đź‘”
Reminder that most of what we do is a performance
Feb 24, 2025
Apr 10, 2025