š²
As someone who has been a historically negligent telecommunicator, this habit is definitely one that has required some intention and tlc in developing, but boy has it been worth it!
First and foremost, this is a bandwidth godsend.
By responding to messages as soon as you get them, you fulfill your immediate duty and free up that sweet sweet real estate.
But of course there are also many downstream benefits that I will cover in as soon as I qualify a bit and explain the practice.
Qualifiers:
Obviously dont stay glued to your device, or stop whatever youāre doing, or get into more involved discussion when it is not the time or place to do so. And also in dating I think there is a real value in the air that used to be so natural and implicit before texting.
The Practice:
Very simple. When an inbound comes in and you see it, simply take 5 seconds to 1 minute to read and respond to it. Most things I find can be answered with a yes, no, or maybe so. And if it canāt, a ācan I call you laterā or āgood question š¤ā or ālet me seeā might do the trick. And finally, if none of these work
go ahead and take your little time and respond later.
Downstream benefits:
People like it
Things get sorted out faster
Less falls through the cracks
No apology texts or excuses
less overthinking communications/more authenticity
Obviously there is no right or wrong way. I have a friend that goes read receipts, reads stuff, then, if needed, takes his time to get back to you. And I actually find that nice to be on the receiving end of because itās always intentional.
But Iāve really enjoyed this way and practice and wanted to recommend it as it has added a lot of value in my life.
Aug 14, 2024
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š²
Earlier today, before reading this ask, I had been journaling about how to manage this in my own life.
There's a real power in unbroken flow, deep work, and space to think and abide. But in a flash it can be undermined by the "interrupt me" device in my pocket.
Texting and messaging people whenever we feel like it is normal behavior. Probably it should not be normal behavior, but that's where we've found ourselves. So if I want something different, then the responsibility is on me to hold space for it.
I don't have the tech rules in place yet, but I do like the idea of having one window of 30-60 minutes daily, or maybe a morning window and evening window, when I respond to instant messages. Over time, the folks in my life will understand that if it is urgent they should call me.
Nov 20, 2024
š²
Iāve been the worst at texting throughout my entire life and even still part of me resents the idea that I should be available for constant communication (but I tell her to shut up because I do actually enjoy connecting with my friends all of whom live far away).
I had a new friend who would text me constantly and at first I thought it was annoying but eventually I got used to it (then I went back to thinking it was really annoying but that was a her being annoying problem). I became really good at texting back and now Iām the person who assaults my friends who tell me they want to get better at texting with regular text messages.
I stopped interacting with my friends as much through our weird obscure social media app and started just texting them directly. When I think about someone or if thereās something I think they need to hear from me I text them! Iām also in a very high-volume group chat with two of my best friends. Itās something that I think only gets better with constant practice and action and intention!
I also think itās worth just setting clear boundaries around text communication that sometimes or even oftentimes you are not going to respond right away. People know that Iām pretty busy and Iāll talk to them when I have time. And I make good use of heart/thumbs up/exclamation point reacts to show that Iām paying attention without replying ASAP. And try schedule sending texts if you donāt want to text right away and have to deal with more replies lol!
Also sometimes if I donāt feel like typing I send my friends voice messages and we often end up in a chain of voice messages from there like role playing executives and employees at a factory in the Deep South that explodes and devastates the town and then being the newscasters covering the story and then being waitresses and patrons at Merlotteās from True Blood gossiping about it. Or whatever.
Oct 19, 2024
š
this may not be in any way applicable to your situations:
what if you were to reply letting them know you got the message, you want to connect, but texting just isn't working for you āĀ and instead could they Facetime or do a phone call or something realtime?
When I send you a text message or a whatsapp or signal or one of the many others then I am essentially giving you homework/an assignment. I put something in your inboxāon your to do list. Now you have to deal with this thing. My message, or insane flurry of messages, is going to sit there taunting and shaming you.
I've been part of so many group messaging threads and they can just become so way too much to point I can't even engage in that medium.
So I love the idea of communicating in a way that doesn't put a burden of response on someoneābecause it is happening in realtime. Instant messaging can be exhausting whereas a phone call or video chat can be life-giving. And when it is over, then it is over.
Oct 19, 2024
Top Recs from @nick3
Its getting draining
I canāt bear to take another radio channel thats made for me
I just want the radio made for the song
Iām trying to discover
Itās just a lot, sometimes I wish I could have a separate account with no likes to browse and explore uninhibited
Aug 28, 2024
Oh how I love you vitamin barn.
With your overpriced supplements and coconut water and your more reasonably priced wraps and smoothies (arguable take).
Two recommendations:
1. The veggie wrap (pictured below)
Quite possibly the best veggie wrap available for purchase in the United States at least.
Kale, shredded beets and carrots, sprouts, celery, cucumber, hummus, and a tomato
One half for now, one in the fridge for later
$12.99? #werecopping
2. The Lean Protein
California greens, matcha, a-milk, dates, a-butter, coconut oil, banana, protein
Now this is basically the same price as the veggie wrap. So thereās definitely an argument for it being less of a deal. But Iām addicted to paying over $10 for smoothies.
This smoothie fills you up, subtlety satisfies your sweet tooth, makes you healthy (California greens), and gives you protein and energy.
Donāt worry about the Thai Wrap or the hulk shake, just listen to me and you will be okay and happy.
Bonus Features:
They are so nice, 70% chance of meeting a dog in there, 100% chance of a creative director in white jeans/overalls
Just get there before (4?) because the juice/sandwich bar closes earlier than the store
Jul 27, 2024
1. Hearing Moanin & Screamin for the first time on the radio late one night otw to a sneaky link was just one of those momentsā¦. One of those real mind blowing moments. This song was a vibe that I had been looking for for a long time.
Linked in post (I promise one day Iāll be better at link management Iām still figuring it out
2. And This one, Look Way Back, also by diamond joe, may even be better:
https://open.spotify.com/track/7gJgQqhLCrO6eElRtWcRqE?si=w82k2P2WTDiVebPDt0PRrQ&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A3hJQgem7RrfPgSlxFQx7Pv
Not much is known about Joe Maryland (diamond joe). Like this is literally the only picture I have even been able to find of him. I couldnāt even find when he was born or died. New Orleans guy, just like me!
he has Less than 1,500 monthly listeners on Spotify. Itās just incredible when talents like this, real real talents, people truly connected with their soul and able to express it honestly, go mostly without recognition. But A tale as old as time I guess
RIP him ā¤ļø
Aug 11, 2024