I’ve been the worst at texting throughout my entire life and even still part of me resents the idea that I should be available for constant communication (but I tell her to shut up because I do actually enjoy connecting with my friends all of whom live far away).
I had a new friend who would text me constantly and at first I thought it was annoying but eventually I got used to it (then I went back to thinking it was really annoying but that was a her being annoying problem). I became really good at texting back and now I’m the person who assaults my friends who tell me they want to get better at texting with regular text messages.
I stopped interacting with my friends as much through our weird obscure social media app and started just texting them directly. When I think about someone or if there’s something I think they need to hear from me I text them! I’m also in a very high-volume group chat with two of my best friends. It’s something that I think only gets better with constant practice and action and intention!
I also think it’s worth just setting clear boundaries around text communication that sometimes or even oftentimes you are not going to respond right away. People know that I’m pretty busy and I’ll talk to them when I have time. And I make good use of heart/thumbs up/exclamation point reacts to show that I’m paying attention without replying ASAP. And try schedule sending texts if you don’t want to text right away and have to deal with more replies lol!
Also sometimes if I don’t feel like typing I send my friends voice messages and we often end up in a chain of voice messages from there like role playing executives and employees at a factory in the Deep South that explodes and devastates the town and then being the newscasters covering the story and then being waitresses and patrons at Merlotte’s from True Blood gossiping about it. Or whatever.
Oct 19, 2024
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We don’t write letters anymore so I think that texting is the closest we have to regular written communication (which I actually value and enjoy in moderation).Â
I see and feel the downsides to texting too much. And I have done a lot of work on responding to people slower and taking more thought and time into it. With this said, I have noticed that many of my friends will initiate conversations with me only to never respond.Â
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I think the ways you communicate can be important examples of how you’re considering your loved ones.Â
Nov 21, 2024
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i am flattered that my friends want to talk to me, but it’s a stimulation overload. like, my attention is being demanded at any time of the day without consent. the messages pile up, people sending me memes or check up messages or trying to organise events on group chats or even just asking when i am free to hang out. and it happens all at once, from all different people. my time feels obligated to someone else because i have to make time to reply or find time to see that person.
i leave people on delivered for days because i don’t have the stamina to engage in conversation that was basically demanded out of me during my day. i love my friends, but text messaging has allowed people to infiltrate your personal time at any point of the day, removing time away from yourself and worrying about when to reply or what to say back.
it’s a lot, and im overwhelmed by it. sometimes, it makes me just want to fall off the grid.
Jan 27, 2025
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As someone who has been a historically negligent telecommunicator, this habit is definitely one that has required some intention and tlc in developing, but boy has it been worth it!
First and foremost, this is a bandwidth godsend.
By responding to messages as soon as you get them, you fulfill your immediate duty and free up that sweet sweet real estate.
But of course there are also many downstream benefits that I will cover in as soon as I qualify a bit and explain the practice.
Qualifiers:
Obviously dont stay glued to your device, or stop whatever you’re doing, or get into more involved discussion when it is not the time or place to do so. And also in dating I think there is a real value in the air that used to be so natural and implicit before texting.
The Practice:
Very simple. When an inbound comes in and you see it, simply take 5 seconds to 1 minute to read and respond to it. Most things I find can be answered with a yes, no, or maybe so. And if it can’t, a “can I call you later” or “good question 🤔” or “let me see” might do the trick. And finally, if none of these work
go ahead and take your little time and respond later.
Downstream benefits:
People like it
Things get sorted out faster
Less falls through the cracks
No apology texts or excuses
less overthinking communications/more authenticity
Obviously there is no right or wrong way. I have a friend that goes read receipts, reads stuff, then, if needed, takes his time to get back to you. And I actually find that nice to be on the receiving end of because it’s always intentional.
But I’ve really enjoyed this way and practice and wanted to recommend it as it has added a lot of value in my life.
Aug 14, 2024
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“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
— Anaïs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share.
I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay!
Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me đź’Ś
Mar 16, 2025
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately âś…đź’…
Feb 27, 2025