i think you inevitably reach an age/time in life where your brain shuts down on its own because it NEEDS rest, so while weāre young, I say embrace your racing brain and crash out as much as possible for funās sake
As someone with an almost fully developed ? brain (turning 24 this year..) I feel like I need to take advantage of my not yet 25 yr old brain and be as recklessz as I can be until I canāt anymore.. whoās with me???
Start over? You havent even started once yet babes your brain isn't even fully formed until youre 25-30. 20s is about learning who you are. 30s is about learning who you aren't. Try as many things as you can and relax, you have plenty of time to stress later.
First of all, this is definitely normal and youāre absolutely not alone in it. But I think you may be ascribing self-actualization and self-assuredness to those a few years younger than you a little too hastily. People who had their middle-school years disrupted by the pandemic also dealt with/continue to deal with the effects of missing out on formative social and personal development, all the while with less developed brains! Not to mention the people youāre seeing are the ones out at shows, not the ones staying home with social anxiety or panic attacks. So although it may seem from your observation that people in this age range are doing just great, it sounds like youāre comparing yourself to a skewed group through an internalized lens of cultural bias towards youth ā quite a combo. And thatās just not being fair to yourself. The fact that you are getting back out there is big and needs to be acknowledged. Instead, youāre positively projecting and amplifying, i.e., seeing in them what you are having trouble finding in yourself. But it is in there ā the proof is that youāre showing up. Same thing for self-expression ā have you seen your own pfp? You seem cool af!
Because of the pandemic, youāve had a unique and unfortunate generational experience of this āarrested developmentā, but this also creates an opportunity to further the paradigm shift that royallmonarch focused on in his lovely essay. Societal expectations based around age are out; living your life on your own timeline is in.
Life happens; shit happens. But youāre getting through it and youāre doing great.
Youth/very young adults who make their youth their personality are actually boring people. Adults who pine about their younger days are also boring. Donāt be either! And if it makes you feel any better, I was at my peak ārecklessā right at your age; I got a ālateā start. You have so much time to keep doing fun stuff and most importantly, to figure out what you like and donāt like. Iām in my 30s and Iām going to a friendās rave tomorrow. Ok, itās a well-organized, well-curated event and not some shit-show in the bush, but still. Itās not over for me! Another night, Iāll stay home and pet my cats. Either way, Iām doing whatever the fuck I want. People take up painting or whatever in their 80s. The sooner you get on that vibe, the better.
Ok go have fun!
Itās starting to happen all the time to the point where we canāt even avoid each other⦠but Iām not complaining. Always wanted life to kind of feel like I was in a sitcom friend group