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Hi, This is my first rec, so I was thinking on what I should do. But then I thought about how I bought myself a small present not too long ago and that I recommend others to do the same every ones in a while. Sometimes things seem not so important or you feel like you come across as a spoiled kid in the grand scheem of things, but even the tiniest things can still be tough. So if you ever feel like you just finished something that has been quite tough on you, by yourself something small. At the end of the day you were the one that put in the effort. After one year of doing the work of two people due to someone on the team having burn out, I spontaniously bought myself a teddy bear. It can also work as motivation for the last stretch. Only disclaimer, only buy yourselve things you actually like, use and/or need. A small gesture comes a long way.
Nov 18, 2024

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I see we’ve been discussing gift giving! I wrote a lot… I have strong opinions I guess…? Anyway, I feel like I often don’t know/understand what my family members like, but there are plenty of things almost anybody would use. (Note that this is not the same way I approach getting gifts for my close friends). Let’s start with specific examples: ADULTS You could get them a higher end, locally made item that anybody would use. Examples include… • hand cream • aftershave • candle • bath salts • coffee/tea Also good are things that will come in handy sooner or later, and they’ll think, “oh, _ got me that so now I don’t have to go to the store!” Such as… • phone charger (a 10ft charger that will last a while is always nice to have) • that tea/coffee you know they have every day • pet treats, if you know what kind of treats the pet likes For sentimental reasons, your parents and grandparents would LOVE a picture of you, and they’re so cheap to get printed! Just thrift a picture frame and voila. Dice game? I’ve had success with/watched people fight over… • weighted or heated blankets • personal massager (no not that kind but I would love to see someone try that) • Candy, but like, good or rare candy. For instance, I am American and I won a box of hobnobs last year, they were so good *tip: avoid alcohol - you probably have at least one current/recovering alcoholic in any given room. Live in a cold area? Try… • again, hand cream • wool gloves/mittens/socks • balaclava (just finished walking my dog and the whole time my brain was going “fuckfuckfuckIneedabalaclava”) KIDS Kids in your life under the age of 10? Go to the dollar store. They’ll never know or care how much money you spent on them. I try really hard not to get a bunch of plastic toys that will live in landfills for a thousand years. I prefer getting coloring books, finger paints, plushies, and books for kids. I have been told that they always get used and enjoyed. I also wrap their gifts in newspaper instead of buying that stupid, waxy, non-recyclable wrapping paper, because they really don’t give a fuck what it comes in. I promise. They are going to rip it to shreds either way. I have little advice for preteens/teens because I don’t have any of those around yet. However, I am only 24, and I’ll say that I remember enjoying trendy clothes and money. Pay attention to them and what they’re into though! Or ask their parents! Obviously your 14 year old goth cousin does not want lululemon. If you do that, you will be proving to them that you don’t pay attention to them, and that’s much worse than just getting them a gift card or cash. I also remember my sleeping schedule being awful, which is a universal truth for all teens, so maybe a calming pillow spray or noise cancelling earplugs? GENERAL TIPS Don’t skip this part, this is the good stuff! The crux of everything I’ve written so far! 1. Back to “ethical,” there is no need to waste your money on non-recyclable wrapping paper, bags, bows, etc. You know, that waxy, kind of shiny stuff? Your loved ones shouldn’t care that it came in an Aldi bag or the same box your new vacuum arrived in a few weeks ago. There’s also something so downright chic about presents wrapped in plain brown wrapping paper and tied with a piece of twine. 2. Really good advice you’ve probably heard before but I’ll repeat now is, “get something that they would like and use but would not splurge on for themselves.” And then get the nicer, splurge-ier version of that thing. This is a GREAT opportunity to shop local and avoid cheap plastic things. 3. If you struggle every year with gift giving for certain people, try, in preparation for next year, to subtly write down the names of restaurants/authors/musicians they mention. I keep a list in my notes app that has saved my life. 4. In that same vein, don’t be afraid to get like, hyper specific about it— last year I got my uncle a gift card for the bar I know he likes to watch football at. Something I had 100% confidence would get used. This year I think I’ll get him a gift card to the butcher shop he goes to. 5. My final and most crucial piece of advice: always think, “would I be pissed about having another thing I need to get rid of if I received this?” Some examples: if you don’t feel confident that you know someone’s interior design/personal style well, simply do not get them decor or clothes. Unless you’ve heard them mention wanting to read it, don’t get them a book. This is stuff that will get returned, sold, or donated, so all you’re doing is giving them a task they have to deal with. Like the Kanye West water bottle tweet. *final plug for shopping local: keep in mind that Amazon workers in major cities are on strike through cyber Monday! You wouldn’t cross a picket line would you? Would you???
Nov 30, 2024
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some of the best gifts I've ever received were from myself, I know myself so well
Mar 15, 2025
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May it be physical media, scary little dolls, cute plushies, rare coins, shoes, etc. It’s easier for your friends to find you a present or at least something that’s related to your fixations. :) also it’s fun! Additional rec: if you’re doing the gifting, include something personal, something that you handcraft, something that will take you at least 1-2 hours to make. A pop-up card, cute origamis, a collage, maybe even just a heartfelt letter. Maybe they like frogs? Draw a couple of frogs around the edges on the letter/card. Or some cute stickers that you know they’ll like. Doing so says, “I was thinking of you the whole time I made this. This is for you and you only. You are important to me and I have a lot of time on my hands to curate something for you because I love you!” <3
Mar 20, 2024

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I always found it hard to keep in contact with people since I'm not the best texter. Plus, I usualy felt like a floater friend, like I just wasn't in the loop cause people liked others more. Of course, growing apart is nothing bad and if they were truly like that, than it's better that I'm no longer friends with them. However, I got in contact with someone I hadn't spoken with for a long time and it was great. Life gets busy and a lot of people are full in their head from everything. It's not always cause they never think of you (anymore) or don't value your friendship.
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Trying hard is sometimes being looked down upon, it's not "cool". You know what, who cares. I get comments so often, like "your intense, you're such a try hard or why do you actually ...". I used to see it as weird/mean comments, until later when I realised some people just hate to see others actually enjoying themeselves. Another thing, the fact that I'm doing my best doesn't mean that I excell and tbh I used to find that a bit depressing. But recently I've learned to embrace the fact that it's actually quite nice to just do things, whatever the result. Def a change in mindset on things, but it has been a really nice change in mindset so far.
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