Itās difficult to really share how you feel and what you need. We can easily slip into some kind of survival mode where we people please, or shut down, or lash out in anger. But whatās beneath that? What underlying need isnāt being expressed or met?
Of course, being able to speak to our true needs and feelings is difficult, but it can be even harder to recognize what we actually feel or need ā especially if those survival modes have been our default for so long.
Work on some somatic practices. Get in touch with your own body and the feelings that arise. Use that as a starting point to recognize what it is you need from yourself, as well as from other people, and then work towards sharing those needs directly to other people.
Itās not easy being vulnerable. In fact, itās right there in the word: vulnerable. Yet developing that capacity has been transformative for me over the past 5 or 6 years. Slowly but surely.
Nov 18, 2024
Related Recs
ā¤ļø
itās scary, but it will only foster stronger and deeper relationships with those around you
Jan 10, 2025
š
turns out a lot of the time people are nice and understanding in the face of vulnerability
Jan 29, 2024
ā
the real deep kind that requires you to share your weaknesses, hopes, innards
Feb 3, 2024
Top Recs from @zenlikeme
š¦
Iām not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But itās pretty extreme when people say they āhate kidsā and I often feel itās a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids āshould be.ā That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little.
Itās fucking hard to be a kid. Youāre dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. Itās confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when theyāre brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe thatās the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk.
This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025
ā§ļø
Prescriptive gender is a prison. Rather than gender being a form of self-expression, gender is treated as a pass/fail test for how well you can conform to cultural expectations.
Since I was young, I remember feeling a great deal of pressure to conform to these expectations around what āmenā are meant to be. You like sports, cars, womanizing, aggression, and not having feelings. I felt so distant from this ideal. I was sensitive and shy, and I preferred spending my time being creative in some way
For a long time, I felt like I was failing at ābeing a man.ā In many ways I was! Because I didnāt need toĀ bea man. All I needed to be was myself.
Itās taken me a long time to separate myself from prescriptive gender, sharpening in on which aspects of masculine energy I identify with and which I donāt. Iām not done yet. Maybe I will never fully be. The self continues to evolve over time, and I suspect aspects of my gender will too.
Mar 15, 2025