“It’s a brilliant, and quite rare, way of thinking but it makes such perfect sense. That we have an instinct, driven by our shared genetics, to love our children and family – for some, this is a duty love – but, when we focus our love on our friends, we’re actively choosing to do so. We’re taking our precious time and energy, and consciously committing it to them, so important are they to us.”
[…]
“Friends can be our sources of intimacy and nonjudgmental support, they can be our life’s companions, they can be our family and our co-parent. Put bluntly, they’re our survival. But this means that we must decide to actively nurture and invest in them to benefit from their many rewards. Our unique ability to love many beings in many ways means that we all have the opportunity for love in our lives. We just have to lift our eyes to the horizon and broaden our perspective to see all the love that is on offer. And for many of us that will mean celebrating, treasuring and reasserting the love we have for our friends.”
Anna Machin, “Treasure Them” (via Aeon)
Nov 22, 2024
Related Recs
Cherish them. Thank them. Write them. Invite them to parts unknown. Share music, art, and food. Celebrate together; cry together. Share your hopes and fears; the mundane and extraordinary; the minutia and the barrenness of your life as it occurs. Savor every single moment you have together.
And don’t forget to tell them you love them — to the point you feel silly. The quality of your friendships dictate the quality of your life.
Mar 18, 2025
♥️
Maybe even too much!!
I’m really big on platonic declarations of love and devotion. I love my friends so much and it is truly such a joy to know each and every one of them and I never want any of them to doubt that for even a second. Like, love and friendship are genuinely all we have at the end of the day and how beautiful is it that we get to love and be loved???
Mar 19, 2025
✂️
a queer ethos of intimate friendship is so beautiful to me. my friends are hot, i trust them, i love them. i don't feel the need to limit the ways in which we can feel safe and known and held if we're all into it.
long conversations can evolve into sex -- two kinds of intimacy, one not held above the other.
challenge:
feel and do not hold on to jealousy. feel and grasp tightly a boundless love.
Mar 4, 2025
Top Recs from @MidwestZen
👦
I’m not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But it’s pretty extreme when people say they ”hate kids” and I often feel it’s a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids “should be.” That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little.
It’s fucking hard to be a kid. You’re dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. It’s confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when they‘re brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe that’s the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
May 6, 2025
I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk.
This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025