I did ballet my whole life because my grandmother was a professional ballerina many years ago. I first smelled my signature fragrance on a guy whose clothes I took off once or twice. I wouldn't be such a massive Arctic Monkeys fan if my friend hadn't surprised me with their AM cd 11 years ago because she thought I would like it. She passed almost five years ago, but I thank her every day for that thoughtful gift. Sometimes I fix things with masking tape how my late grandfather used to, and I have an A Clockwork Orange keychain since he loved the soundtrack.
My grandfather passed away in April. I haven't had much time the past few weeks to really sit with myself and process this. Earlier, I made my lockscreen a picture of me with him, and seeing it throughout the day has made me feel tinges of love, happiness, and grief, which I have been grateful for. I like feeling everything at once. I like knowing he was here and he'll live on in my memories although I miss him so much. It's beautiful how much you can love someone. :)
Read this for my first ever writing class at NYU 5 years ago and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. It was the first time I felt so seen when reading an essay. It's from 2015, but I think this is such a timeless read on solitude.
