Save ”yes” for what you excites you, interests you, or is at the very least within your capacity. Not every “yes” needs to be enthusiastic but it should be authentic.
Some people have no trouble telling others “no” but it’s taken me a lot of practice. I’ve had to realize that my friends and family love me and value our relationship beyond any single request. Love isn’t transactional like this — or it shouldn’t be, at least.
Anyone you can’t say ”no” to is a walking red flag.
Nov 29, 2024
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its okay to say no and no one should make you feel bad about it
Dec 21, 2023
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if you grew up being a people pleaser like me, it can be so damn hard to set boundaries. but it was so great when I finally realized I simply didn’t have to say yes to everything/everyone.
it was wild. blew my mind. I highly recommend.
Aug 8, 2024
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When you don’t have the energy to do something, when you feel that someone is trespassing your boundaries, when you are not sure about something and know you will be tired from trying it, when you don’t like something, or when you think it would be polite to say yes, when you have a bad feeling, when it doesn’t align with your values.
Dec 1, 2024
Top Recs from @zenlikeme
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I’m not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But it’s pretty extreme when people say they ”hate kids” and I often feel it’s a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids “should be.” That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little.
It’s fucking hard to be a kid. You’re dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. It’s confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when they‘re brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe that’s the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk.
This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025
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Prescriptive gender is a prison. Rather than gender being a form of self-expression, gender is treated as a pass/fail test for how well you can conform to cultural expectations.
Since I was young, I remember feeling a great deal of pressure to conform to these expectations around what “men” are meant to be. You like sports, cars, womanizing, aggression, and not having feelings. I felt so distant from this ideal. I was sensitive and shy, and I preferred spending my time being creative in some way
For a long time, I felt like I was failing at “being a man.” In many ways I was! Because I didn’t need to bea man. All I needed to be was myself.
It’s taken me a long time to separate myself from prescriptive gender, sharpening in on which aspects of masculine energy I identify with and which I don’t. I’m not done yet. Maybe I will never fully be. The self continues to evolve over time, and I suspect aspects of my gender will too.
Mar 15, 2025