if your desire to improve yourself is coming from a place of shame or negativity towards yourself, whatever you try and change isnāt going to last. this is coming from experience.
i tried and failed for years to change my health habits because I felt like I should lose weight or should be more fit. it wasnāt until I changed my intentions and language around it that things finally stuck. I wanted to feel stronger, to feel more energetic Rather than feeling like I should look or behave in a certain way.
for change to be lasting and positive, it has to come from a place of positivity and self love or empowerment. it has to be because you want to do it.
if you feel like you āshouldā change rather than feeling like you āwantā to change, that seems like a good place to stress test your intention.
good luck! I believe in you!
Dec 9, 2024
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Typically it boils down to forming habits you aspire to have. Which is infinitely more difficult than it sounds unfortunately. Especially if you arenāt already aware of what causes what you donāt like about yourself. That takes therapy and introspection. Just remember that at the end of the day change canāt happen over night, or at least the change that counts. Give yourself grace and time to evolve, because at the end of the day thats what lifeās journey is all about.
Jun 7, 2024
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Iāve been thinking about this a lot regarding my plan to purge/organize my home, because the way I used to do projects like this just doesnāt work anymore. I can no longer wait until I have the energy, then do as much as I can in one go. I do not have the gift of uninterrupted time anymore. Instead, Iāve had to adjust to a more slow and steady way of working. I choose *one* space to work on each day. Often times it ends up being one drawer, or corner, or step in the process.
Logically this is great and the best way to meet my goals. Mentally/emotionally I kid of hate it because itās not how Iāve worked for my entire life. I have big ideas and want to do them right now!!!! But, when is growth or change ever without a bit of uncomfortability or pain?
So, I am actively changing my mindset. I speak positively to myself about the one small thing I did that day. I share that one small thing with my husband and friends. Because in actuality if it was so easy for me to do, I wouldāve done it before. So my effort deserves some recognition!! Positive reinforcement, even when itās to our own selves, can carry us a long way š«¶
Jan 13, 2025
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lots of great responses in this thread! just wanted to say that true change takes so much longer than we expect it to. I started on a journey of āchanging my lifeā and my attitude towards it back in 2020, and its only now in 2024 that Iām starting to see major changes that I can trace back to that original decision to improve my life. Sure, thereās been lots of rewarding little milestones along the way, but the big things take time.
The lesson is, donāt be hard on yourself if you make changes but your life isnāt tangibly improved next month. Make changes for your long-term future self :)
Dec 9, 2024
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i don't think anyone ever intends to become a recreational ornithologist. but i've noticed that it definitely creeps up on you slowly in your mid-twenties. it starts with noticing how funny pigeons are, then learning pigeon lore, and suddenly you're feeding your neighbourhood birds every morning and buying books on birds. as a child i idolised the pigeon lady in home alone 2, and i woke up this morning and realised ā i AM the pigeon lady š¦
Mar 6, 2025
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reading is a habit of building and developing your empathy and critical thinking skills. youāre forced to sit with an idea for however long you are reading it and forced to contextualise it and comprehend it within your own life and perspective. You canāt just scroll away or pause or put it on 2x speed. you have to sit with it. itās super underrated, but genuinely Iāve made this a habit for the last year and feel like a totally different person. also you come out of it having learned something new or seeing the world in a slightly new way. I literally do not see any downsides to reading. make reading cool again! also you donāt have to do it in one big block, you can space it out ā 15 mins here, 45 there ā whatever works for you!
Dec 9, 2024
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our cultural obsession with being perceived as cool is a disease. its peak capitalistic/consumerist propaganda. fuck being cool. like what you like and who cares if it's cool or not. it's tiresome and we need to leave it in 2024. literally nothing gives me the ick more than people who betray themselves in an attempt to be perceived as cool by the masses. be yourself ā even if it means you're 'uncool'.
Jan 3, 2025