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đŒ
Sorry to place you at the mercy of such virtual perversionâŠitâs wrong of me to take advantage of this modern tool in favor of my own selfish interests.. But anyhow. Just kidding, I fully intend on perpetuating the masturbatory cycle that is emo posting.
Bill Fayâs I Hear You Calling was my top song of 2024! Which is beyond fitting considering my time spent working for the UNITED STATES POST OFFICE. And many of my weeks consisting of sacrificing something liiiike oh I donât know, 60-70 hours of my little time on earth to A Federal Corporation. Yeah Baby, just Like I Always dreamed. Bill sings ever poignantly,
âAll my time is lying
On the factory floorâ
There is something about enduring pain that feels quite fulfilling, in the act of listening to a song . it feels worth it. To forge a relationship with suffering, playing dangerously in the territory of identifying with it.. and you meet a song that hears You, in spite of you doing all the listening.. to Be held by a song , to be understood in the face of dire alienation . Good lord. I will carry it all atop my shoulders for eternity, even if all I get in return, is the fleeting 2 minutes and 55 seconds of solace.
Dec 10, 2024
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đŹIronically the year anew has me reflecting on the past like im somehow gonna scrounge up a couple bucks in change if i would just look hard enoughâŠ
I need to surrender to life and itâs tendency to continue . Little music as of late has been guiding me through this endeavor, I feel sentenced to nothing but what Iâve always known . A prison of my own making! Just the same old songs and the same old albums and the same old me . How do I alleviate stagnancy when itâs possessing my very being.Â
I need new music. And I quit smoking and gave up the whole quitting thing after a month. God have mercy..
I need to surrender to life and itâs tendency to continue . Little music as of late has been guiding me through this endeavor, I feel sentenced to nothing but what Iâve always known . A prison of my own making! Just the same old songs and the same old albums and the same old me . How do I alleviate stagnancy when itâs possessing my very being.Â
I need new music. And I quit smoking and gave up the whole quitting thing after a month. God have mercy..
Apr 19, 2025
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I caught a cold earlier this week and decided to ignore its subtle, yet deleterious and lingering effects on my body. On the fourth day (yesterday), after high-intensity training and taking two capsules of psilocybin, I decided to drive to the local cafĂ© to put in some more work. Iâd been listening to this song all dayâmy head was rolling. If there was ever a moment that Iâd felt closer to damnation, it was when I walked into the building and wished for complete annihilation. This isnât anything newâIâve experienced these episodes on and off since I was a child. But something about this particular bout made me realize I should be grateful, judge less, and have mercy. I called loved ones to tell them how sorry I was for words Iâd said and actions I committed that may have hurt themâalmost as a final act of salvation before my ultimate oblivion.
I met Lucifer at the bleeding edge, shrieked into the voidâwith one last gesture of love, forgiveness, and meaningâand anchored myself back to earth.
â
This song is something potent!
Apr 25, 2025
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to me itâs always been kind of a sad song but itâs also resoundingly hopeful
itâs not been the best year but itâs not been the worst, you know how it is- life kind of just happens.
i of course like the part :: âdonât cry⊠donât raise your eye⊠itâs only teenage wastelandâ
i graduate this spring and thatâs obviously a big milestone. being in high school is kind of uniquely miserable and beautiful at the same time. iâm glad to move on but itâs bittersweet
iâm trying to stay in the present while also remembering that this is really âteenage wastelandâ i.e: slums of adolescence.. what feels big now wonât ever matter again.
things might feel empty and really suck, but you gotta keep moving forward. i guess thatâs what i learned this year.
long rant over now đ§ââïž
itâs not been the best year but itâs not been the worst, you know how it is- life kind of just happens.
i of course like the part :: âdonât cry⊠donât raise your eye⊠itâs only teenage wastelandâ
i graduate this spring and thatâs obviously a big milestone. being in high school is kind of uniquely miserable and beautiful at the same time. iâm glad to move on but itâs bittersweet
iâm trying to stay in the present while also remembering that this is really âteenage wastelandâ i.e: slums of adolescence.. what feels big now wonât ever matter again.
things might feel empty and really suck, but you gotta keep moving forward. i guess thatâs what i learned this year.
long rant over now đ§ââïž
Dec 31, 2024
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I fucking love it
IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN ILL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME PAPA PAPARAZIIIIIII
IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN ILL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME PAPA PAPARAZIIIIIII
May 5, 2024
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đŹLike a dear friend . I miss how when I would smoke a cigarette it would settle into my hair , blanketing a preexisting layer of perfume. I love the way smoke seeps into the fabric of my car, my clothes, even into my skin. Smells like my parents, my grandparents. Our old house. Dads gold Lincoln towncar that we got shot at in. And last time I saw one of those, I was picking dad up from jail, and its license plate read TRULOVE.
Dec 14, 2024
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đ«Loneliness prevails! I would much rather live purely in solitude for ever and ever than waste another precious second in the presence of someone who has little skin in the game of knowing me or seeing me. Hearing me! I wonder why you keep me around if all your hearts desire is to hear the sound of your own voice.
It makes no difference if itâs me or anyone for that matter.
For all you know or even care I am merely an ottoman for you to rest your feet on, or a coffee table meant simply to pedestal your various notebook scrawlings and half-read books. I am a file cabinet. I have it here, dated, what you Thought and what you felt about work, or about your friends. ask me, I have it all.
And I loved it. I loved knowing you. I wanted to. I investigated and interrogated. I poured over it all with great curiosity, praying for all my red threads to weave a tapestry of you.
but I canât remember the last time you asked me something about myself. When the opportunity arises, and god forbid, I Take it, you can barely hold your breath. Its like a shark sensing blood. You just canât wait to talk talk talk talk talk. But hey, itâs your life, and baby, Iâm just living in it.
but I canât remember the last time you asked me something about myself. When the opportunity arises, and god forbid, I Take it, you can barely hold your breath. Its like a shark sensing blood. You just canât wait to talk talk talk talk talk. But hey, itâs your life, and baby, Iâm just living in it.
Dec 10, 2024