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my therapist told me the only “true” form of unconditional love is that of a mother and her infant- beyond this, unconditional love doesn’t exist. love is messy. embrace love that is platonic, intuitive, intentional, or even fleeting.
Dec 11, 2024
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Sometimes I get caught up chasing ideals of love. Growing up with immigrant parents in the US, I wished my parents showed me love the way my friends' parents did. My parents seemed cold in comparison to the affection I saw my friends receiving. I fell for best friends who did love me but never enough and never in the ways I wanted them to.
Nowadays I have grown to appreciate the ways in which my parents do show me love -- when they ask if I've eaten or when I dye my mom's hair as she peels me oranges. Friendship to me no longer needs to be tied up in such rigid binaries. It's not the label of a relationship I'm after but rather just the intimacy of knowing other people. I try not to focus so much on how I wish to be loved by other people and instead pay attention to all the different ways I am loved. Acting with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And in that way, everything feels enough.
Disclaimer: Establishing boundaries is paramount. Love that is corrosive or manipulative is not love.
Feb 1, 2024
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speaking from my experience, you'll know it's real love when it inspires you to be a better person; when it supports individual growth; when it feels safe and secure; when it respects boundaries; when it chooses reality over fantasy; when it accepts imperfections; when it navigates through challenges with both compassion and reason; when it encourages honesty and authenticity; when it honors independence. rainer maria rilke puts it so beautifully, "love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other."
if it does the opposite, that's not love, that's fear. i believe that love makes you see clearer and helps you make wiser decisions. i don't believe in "love makes people stupid" – no, fear does.
Apr 13, 2025
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love is beautiful. love is pure. love is enduring.
i’m not sure if my standards for love are too high, but i worry i don’t mean it. i’d change my character, overcome weaknesses for those i say it to, yet it never feels like enough. i want to embrace someone not only through touch, but through the warmth of my actions and presence.
love knows no bounds. i want to break every single wall a person can put up. still, i know there are limits to love. love is undefined—it is not a singular, universal concept for every person. i fear i can never truly portray my love for another without everything crashing down, whether due to the walls we’ve built to shield ourselves from the world or to passing circumstances.
maybe i’m not concerned about my feelings for others. maybe the words “i love you” don’t quite serve me justice. still, from this new perspective, it’s an affectionate, enkindling acknowledgement to give another—akin to kissing your loved one on the cheek each morning before leaving for work.
love: a word that can be used for anyone, whether platonically or romantically. we really should say these words shamelessly to those around us every day. it’s a marvel to think over what true love means to you and how it can vary from person to person. i think this is what makes it beautiful.
your idea of love will fit into another’s idea of love. i hope everyone who reads this is lucky enough to find that person they mesh together with.^^
Mar 9, 2025
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