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my therapist told me the only “true” form of unconditional love is that of a mother and her infant- beyond this, unconditional love doesn’t exist. love is messy. embrace love that is platonic, intuitive, intentional, or even fleeting.
Dec 11, 2024
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love people regardless of what they are to you; friend, lover, spouse. i feel that these labels are often functions of transaction and possession. love people as you should in the forms it takes naturally. let them be and let them be with you. know that you own nothing but your heart that loves them
May 13, 2025
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Sometimes I get caught up chasing ideals of love. Growing up with immigrant parents in the US, I wished my parents showed me love the way my friends' parents did. My parents seemed cold in comparison to the affection I saw my friends receiving. I fell for best friends who did love me but never enough and never in the ways I wanted them to.
Nowadays I have grown to appreciate the ways in which my parents do show me love -- when they ask if I've eaten or when I dye my mom's hair as she peels me oranges. Friendship to me no longer needs to be tied up in such rigid binaries. It's not the label of a relationship I'm after but rather just the intimacy of knowing other people. I try not to focus so much on how I wish to be loved by other people and instead pay attention to all the different ways I am loved. Acting with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And in that way, everything feels enough.
Disclaimer: Establishing boundaries is paramount. Love that is corrosive or manipulative is not love.
Feb 1, 2024
♥️
speaking from my experience, you'll know it's real love when it inspires you to be a better person; when it supports individual growth; when it feels safe and secure; when it respects boundaries; when it chooses reality over fantasy; when it accepts imperfections; when it navigates through challenges with both compassion and reason; when it encourages honesty and authenticity; when it honors independence. rainer maria rilke puts it so beautifully, "love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other."
if it does the opposite, that's not love, that's fear. i believe that love makes you see clearer and helps you make wiser decisions. i don't believe in "love makes people stupid" – no, fear does.
Apr 13, 2025
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because girlhood
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because free will
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