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black licorice rocks my whole entire world- it's rude and disgusting, which is why i love it and always keep a little on me, getting weird and melted at the bottom of my bag. candy is for children but black licorice is for cool grown ups. here are some of the craziest kinds:PANDA, the sweet kind: for when you need to wash down a savory meal with a little sweet treat!WHEELS, the hard kind: for when you don't want to chew on something with the consistency of food, and would rather chew on something with the consistency of plastic.CHIPS, the minty kind: for when you need a cure! weird cough, weird throat or weird stomach, these are basically like the candy cure for all of that! tiny little hard licorice treats that are mentholated so they taste medical, eating them feels like it's good for you! sometimes i will eat one of these after every meal because it feels like mouthwash for your entire guts. i'm so jewish that sometimes i need help digesting food, and these minty lil guys help me wash it all down. they're also the perfect texture: hard and teeth-destroying. i like carrying them around in my bag because they make the whole bottom of my bag smell like a clean hospital.VENCO CATS, the savory kind: for when you don't want to share your candy with anyone, so you purposefully find unappealing candy that smells/tastes too gross. the bag smells like shit as soon as you open it, so no one ever wants a piece of your candy once you crack these puppies open. they're a little sweet and perfectly hard, and eating just one is enough of a candy treat to tide you over for the day.HARIBO PIRATE COINS "PIRATOS", the salty kind: for when you want to punish yourself with something actually disgusting, and clear out everything in your entire body. want to reset the flavor alignment with your tongue? want to completely erase the feeling of your entire body? want something that will kill you dead, so that you can be reborn again? eat one of these salty pirate coins and you'll have to throw your whole mouth away and get a new one! wanna play a mean trick on someone? offer them one of these Danish delights and they will never forgive you for what you have done to them. eating a single coin is like swallowing an entire salt shaker whole.
Dec 23, 2021
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I think the joy of candy is akin to the joy of nicotine, or the joy of going viral. While these dopamine hits may not be conducive to a traditional steady and meaningful life I think it is important to know where you are and meet yourself there. My favorite lollipops are See’s vanilla lollipops and the carmel and green apple lollipops. I also like mallow cups, nerd ropes, three musketeers, payday’s, justin’s peanut butter cups, licorice yorkie dogs, peach gummies, hamburger and pizza gummies, and chocolate. When i eat chocolate i feel like a woman.
Aug 1, 2023
you should prolly always have some in your room or on your person
this is what i’m rocking with right now… sour candy in bulk is kinda a gamble because your tongue miggghhttt go raw but you can just ignore that you’re an adult
Mar 9, 2024
a few months ago, my co-worker randomly asked me if I wanted to try one of these sour gummy candies she got from a specialty candy store by a metro stop. I said sure and tried one and literally my life was changed......I can't quite describe it but they have this certain chewy texture that is both fluffy but firm.....if you enjoy sour candy AT ALL, you need to try asap. i'm partial to the bubblegum or raspberry lemon sur skalles (sour skulls). bonus points if your plug is also find a sweet francophone man who goes "bonjour, bubs?" when you walk into his store and order half a kilo. warning: this habit is not cheap, but there are far worse vices
Dec 18, 2024
Top Recs from @sarah-squirm
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What makes me feel safe? Wearing underwear that goes all the way up to my nipples. Full-coverage undies that secure my whole ass, lips and bush and also the clean white cotton gives my hole some air to BREATHE. those Parade undies everyone else wears are made of like plastic and i feel like my wide ass and fat lips eat them completely up. why does everyone look so good wearing them on instagram? on the other hand, classic hanes briefs? they're white, huge and they come in packs of ten??? honey, you just got yourself a sexy little diaper!
Dec 23, 2021
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nothing really gets the whole room going at karaoke than a song that everyone deeply, unconsciously loves, but often forgets about. when you sing "COOL" you get to use your sexy voice, so everyone in the room gets completely rock hard. this is a song in everyone's range, so you're welcome, you'll sound really good at singing. AND it's short, so you won't have to worry about shredding your throat too much. have fun impressing everyone in the room with how COOL you are!!! (i probably just got you laid with this amazing suggestion).
Dec 23, 2021
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this is soooo 2000-and-late of me, but i can watch this dumb shit for literally hours at a time, and i mean hours. everyone on the planet can agree on one thing: that literally nothing is funnier than the Grape Stomping Lady falling down. and if we can all get behind laughing in harmony at one funny thing? well, honey? that's World Peace!
Dec 23, 2021