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Grasping the intangible

Are they the tingling feelings that you look back at or the fragments of memories that you struggle to picture in your head? Do you ever miss a person that you don’t even know? Perhaps it is an idea, a concept or a thought. You are trying to create the perfect person that will understand you, tame you and love you just like how you would. You do not seek for reciprocated love - you always feel like you want to give more and love more. It is your way of loving and who is to complain? However, a part of you aches knowing that someday when the time comes and you lay down onto a field taking your final breaths, you probably would have wanted someone to just whisper on how much they adore you, just like how ‘night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love you.’’. Gentleness but also full with affection. Somebody who can withstand you during your energetic moments and your burnt out times. Someone who will stay next to you no wonder what; someone who is not afraid to present their emotions for you and only you. Someone who will try everything just to love you, get back to you no matter what. And I promise, from the deepest roots of my heart, that I will dearly love them where every moment would feel like the first time - the rushed heartbeats, flowing hormones, aching hearts and locked eyes. We will love the way that we do - and it may be similar to others - but in the end, we know that what we have is different and special for ourselves. Beethoven’s ‘Fur Elise’. The strong faith in love that was driven between Schumann, Brahms and Clara. Like how one composes songs dedicated for another and one paints in shades of pastels reminiscing of their significant other. Like the love letters written in ink that took quite a while to pick out at the store, wrapped in delicate enveloped covered with kiss marks. Like the singing and humming dedicated for the ears of the other. It is what you want, and therefore you wait - for who knows how long, expecting that person, who will achieve accomplishment throughout a journey together with you. ——————— Hello! This is my first entry hereeee:) The picture was carefully brought here from pinterest and was in my album, I do not know any individual in the photo but they gave me great inspiration on writing this piece. The photo really speaks warmth and radiates energy IMO - so romantic!

@whimseulcal

Jan 28, 2025

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pi didnt let me post the first one

i can’t listen to music without thinking about her. every piece of shitty poetry that condemns my for you page makes me think of her in our living room. she is holding bills as she sits on our couch, a calculator on the table and a glass in the other hand. i will ask her what she wants for dinner, and she will tell me. there’s something so guttural about knowing you want to love someone for the rest of your life. that little moments like a dinner order are exactly what will give you the drive to wake up and slave away to a 9 to 5. ive been thinking about what i wanna be a lot lately. i think it’s honestly teaching. philosophy. i like to imagine myself as a philosophy professor discussing love with my students, i would tell them about my little artist at home and our baby girl and how i too thought marriage was simply the removal of autonomy until it befell my door. i think that’s a normal way to feel, with tubes of “the good ol ball and chain” and “can’t live with her can’t live without her“ down our throats like prospective foie gras. but my love is gentle. it is patient. it is kind.

@22

Mar 16, 2025

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heyy

and i made a song about you but it’s also about me and no one will ever hear it its called my thoughts and its not actually a song but the way music flies out of your mouth makes me want to say sweet nothings as i put my words with yours like a torn up half read book you keep by your bedside table that you tell yourself you’ll get around to. i play fast and loose with my actions around you, and maybe it’s too much even for me. i try to distract with overconsumption of digital content thst just fucking overwhelmes me and gets in the way of anything getting done. you’ll never read this by the way. but can i recite the pages of senseless amateur poetry i wrote about you? i never really belong anywhere, and i camouflage into a current residence until i trick myself into thinking i truly know the people i’m around. it happened once, the effect that is. im not there anymore, and i hope those people don’t hate me like i hate myself for leaving. this isn’t about you, just me rehashing horrible guy-wrenching emotions of a past (if you can even call two years ago the past), and things i don’t talk about. im the most observant person ever, and you wouldn’t expect it. i’m so sensitive, i pick up every little movement someone does and i overthink everything thst happens before and after a conversation, guilt racks me after any social gathering and i wonder if i said anything wrong. but there’s so much to be grateful for life is so so beautiful im so lucky to be alive and have this device that i’m emotionally giving myself to and have given my life to. i love love, life, and people and i already made a long post about this im not reiterating. and i love how i can see you everyday and stand on the sidelines as your hype man in your game of love, ill hold the water bottle of my unrequited longing, ready to serve drops of my musings of you only to accidentally pour myself onto you.

@huxsid

Mar 26, 2025

Top Recs from @Onyi_Budds

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The art of reading Out loud

During my quest of personal expression I have found a unique and meaningful way to be more comfortable with the sound of my voice and that is by reading out loud. At first it was weird and awkward to read to the four walls or prying ears but as time went on, I began to allow for my voice to take up space and to fill those anxious gaps inside of me. PS: I read out loud in the privacy of my home 😭 not out in public spaces.

@Onyi_Budds

Jan 19, 2025

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finding your own interior design style

with the rise of social media, it can be so easy to get sucked and pulled into someone else’s aesthetic or outlook. i have found inspiration from going within and seeing what i genuinely like when it comes to art, fashion, interior design and so much more. the results were shocking but it comes to show how much i really am a maximalist at heart :) what are some of your favourite interior design styles?

@Onyi_Budds

Feb 8, 2025

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VOICE JOURNALS

The beauty of documenting your life experiences through your speech and embracing how your voice sounds in that very moment is something I find so special. Our voices are instruments, what use are they if we don’t take delight in the sound of the very thing that forms meaningful connections. Voice journalling has made me so much more confident in my speech, how I sound, public speaking and expressing myself to those around me. It has helped me to be more interactive during conversations with friends, family and strangers. It has opened up the gate for meaningful friendships and closed the gate for social anxiety. I usually go back and listen to the growth of my voice and the small depletions of the insecurity and anxiety of my speech. It’s also a great way for me to document my thoughts when journalling through writing gets overwhelming. Have any of you all tried voice journalling?

@Onyi_Budds

Jan 16, 2025